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An airplane idea that could revolutionize the world. Duke essay =)


tehfunkicookie 19 / 50  
Dec 8, 2011   #1
Please help critique my essay! Be as hard as you like! i only have 2 more days so i really need some help D:

PROMPT:
If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke.

Whether it'd be building Lego figures or bottled rockets, assembling models or objects has always interested me. Ever since I was a kid, gazing at colossal skyscrapers or outrageous styled cubic buildings greatly amazed me. I kept pondering about how people could construct such eye-catching and complex creations. As I entered high school, my interests further expanded when I took Physics and Chemistry classes that answered my never ending questions about these buildings. Participating in the Egg-O-Naut (bottled rocket) event in Science Olympiad and learning about structural mechanics and stress gradually built up my erupting curiosity in engineering.

I realize that studying engineering will give me the opportunity to implement my innovative and unique ideas in designing ground-breaking mechanical engines that would help revolutionize the dynamic world. From forming a device to increase transpiration in Biology HL to constructing something that would help power a light bulb in Chemistry SL, I am able to submerge myself in the numerous ideas I have. Furthermore, I can open new doors to new ideas or possibilities for change. I want to take my love for building and invest it in studying mechanical engineering in order to become a professional mechanical engineer for Boeing. By gaining the necessary knowledge and skills, I can help create engines or designs for airplanes that will greatly contribute to the people around me.

Pratt will be the catalyst that will initiate my engineering goals and the provider that will offer me the excellent educational foundation and experience necessary to succeed. The rigorous and challenging curriculum that Pratt presents will force me to think on a more higher academic level and allow me to explore the different frontiers of engineering. The small size and high level faculty will offer me many advantages in gaining maximum exposure to exceptional programs. With the Duke List and the Skanska summer study abroad program, Pratt will provide me with many opportunities to gain real hands on experience and direct interaction with intensive engineering projects. With the close community that Pratt has, I can work closely with many students, seek my own unique talents, and flourish both personally and intellectually.
ajit88rai 22 / 188 3  
Dec 8, 2011   #2
First of all, I would like to wish you best of luck of the admissions.

As far as your essay is concerned, it would be best to show them that you are a research oriented guy who wants to achieve the excellence in the field of mechanical engineering.

- You wish to design engines or aircrafts? How about an aircraft with internal combustion engines? How about a silent aircraft that can give some peace to the people living near airports.??? What about an engine that can run on water, ofcourse by separating Hydrogen from water and using it to propel the vehicle.???These are some on-going research activities in the field of mechanical engineering. You can probably mention them in your essay to show how much focussed and aware you are.

- Mention some engineering greats or some person in engineering field which inspires you. See the website of Duke University and try and find the research topics of the professors over there.. You can probably mention your interest in certain topics also.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Dec 8, 2011   #3
Whether it'd be building Lego figures or bottled rockets, assembling models or other objects, has always interested me.

Ever since I was a kid, gazing at colossal skyscrapers or outrageously styled cubic buildings has greatly amazed me.

I kept pondering about how people could construct such eye-catching and complex creations.

Pratt will be the catalyst that will initiate my engineering goals, and the provider that will offer me the excellent educational foundation and experience necessary to succeed.

The rigorous and challenging curriculum that Pratt presents will force me to think at a more higher academic level and allow me to explore the different frontiers of engineering.

Great essay with a great ending! Good luck with school and have fun!

:)
OP tehfunkicookie 19 / 50  
Dec 8, 2011   #4
@ARness
Thanks for the tips! I really am still working on it and I will definitely include what you said. It's really hard tot put what I want into three paragraphs. I had to cut a lot so I'll try to instill that research and passion for mechanical engineering! Thank you a lot for the tips!

@Susan
=) THanks!


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