Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3


'Curvaceous. Linear. Human tool.' - NYU - What intrigues you?


aleckhuang 1 / 2  
Dec 29, 2011   #1
What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.

Curvaceous. Linear. Human tool. "Instrumentality". A constructed fabrication between us, mankind, and the world. Surely by this definition, a screwdriver is no less beautiful than the tacky art we find in museums. A beautiful figure with purpose and utility. What I see here is rotund, it is simulating the motion in which I see the tool being used. The usage consumes me. Eats me entirely. The wood chips, the asymmetrical curves are credit to the perfection of this tool. Perfection not in its condition, but for its purpose in life. The worn down head, uneven surface is testimony to its age and experiences. The bent metal tells a convincing story. Perhaps this tool may not have even been used for its intentional purposes with screws, but torquing and plying apart harder pieces of metal. The poor tool, it has been misused and mistreated. But that does not hurt us. The two materials, wood and metal. Is it symbolism? A dichotomy of material, a transition from the master to his subject; from wood to metal. Perhaps a guard from the harsh and metallic resilience of the world and our warm and wooden nature of our hands. What I have before me is a screw driver unique, unreproducible. Not because its craft is particularly difficult to imitate, but because it has a history. A history known only to its users and left in fragments. The beauty of the tool we call a screw driver is not its utility but its history. From this screwdriver, I learned that in fact there is beauty in everything.

Harsh and honest critiques are much appreciated
I'm applying for an art history major
Alexander Huang
Alicegz 2 / 25  
Dec 29, 2011   #2
I love the way you write! Even though some parts are a bit confusing, somehow your essay still works great!
Maybe you can add a bit about what the screwdriver was intended for?
Here are a couple suggestions:
What I see here is rotund,replace with ; it is simulating the motion
The usage consumes me.; it eatsEats me entirely.
There are a few other run-ons, but I think you'll be able to find them.
Great job on your essay!

I would be really happy if you could look at my yale supplement and give me feedback. Thanks:)
GraceTaylorWei 12 / 41  
Dec 29, 2011   #3
Great essay. I noticed just one thing though:

"Eats me entirely. The wood chips, the asymmetrical curves are credit to the perfection of this tool. Perfection not in its condition, but for its purpose in life. "

I know you're trying to produce that steam of consciousness effect, but perhaps make it more grammatically agreeable:

"It eats me entirely - the woodchips... - perfect not in its condition.."

You have a few more of these that create somewhat of a choppy effect, but other than that, it's really excellent material and thought.

Read my Notre Dame essays? Urgent D:


Home / Undergraduate / 'Curvaceous. Linear. Human tool.' - NYU - What intrigues you?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳