i would like severe constructive criticism. on whether it answers the question, are my points clear, for those who understand the major do i convey my understanding of it etc. UCLA communication major is extremely competitive and i'm in need of a perfect essay. thank you in advance.
What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.
I intend to major in communication studies. I love this field because it is an interdisciplinary major that draws heavily from subjects such as sociology and psychology. In fact, I developed my love for this field when I realized that it was the communication aspect of some of my favorite subjects that captivated me. For instance, in sociology we learn how certain behaviors such as eye contact is accepted in some societies, and yet is not in others. In psychology, we try to understand why individuals act the way they do and what it suggests. In political science, we analyze how important the media is in steering an election to a party's favor.
After taking a course in political science I have become extremely fascinated by mass media. I find it interesting that the media for instance plays a large role in steering the elections. I am eager to learn about mass communication, the mediums used, and the effects of each on the individual, and society. I think that courses such as Decoding Media Strategies and Sociology and Mass Communication will fulfill that quest. The understanding of these courses will also play an important role in my future plans of doing graduate school in political science and journalism.
Apart from communication in the mass level I am extremely interested in understanding interpersonal communication. I find nonverbal communication and body language fascinating because it digs into our subconscious. I am excited to learn the issues surrounding origin of language and how communication is used in relationships.
I have been blessed with many experiences in the field of communication. At age 16 I began giving back to the community through volunteer work. In one specific program I assisted in teaching a kindergarten class for the deaf. Unlike the teacher, I did not know sign language and so I connected with them by means of technology, for instance the use of vibrating stages connected to a microphone. This program has taught me the various means that we as humans communicate. Communication comes in various forms, from verbal to nonverbal. Hand gestures, sign language and body language are all means of communication that go beyond verbal words. This program also shows the various ways that we adapt to our surroundings and society, that even for those who do not know sign language there are ways in which to communicate with the deaf. It also shows us the use of technology as a medium in sending and receiving messages. The understanding of these fascinating topics is what I seek in this field.
I have always had an inquisitive mind. I love the analysis of society that communication studies offers. I am eager to understand why and how we as a society function. It is my hope, that through this brief statement I have effectively conveyed my understanding and passion for the field of communications.
Good afternoon :)
First, some mechanical issues. Make sure that you are capitalizing only proper nouns and the first words of sentences; there are some instances here where you have capitalized random words.
Avoid beginning your sentences with conjunctive/transitory words such as "so," "but," or "and."
Avoid contractions in formal academic writing; for instance, "I'm" should be "I am."
In regards to your content, it is very organized and has good flow. Each paragraph has its own subject and supporting information. You present yourself with a good tone and voice, and I believe the content matter answers the prompt. With a little mechanical polishing, I think it will be ready for submission.
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
yay! thank you so much for your feedback, i definitely will need to work on it a little more before submitting; maybe downsize it a little to fit my second prompt
i was a little worried that i was drifting off topic but thank you for clarifying that!
I have decided to go another route with my prompt 1 i felt that my first prompt kinda drifted off topic. please let me know which you prefer and if my second draft answers the question better. thank you so much.
Good evening :)
While this piece is also good, I prefer the first piece. It seems to fit the prompt better; but, in the end, it is your choice :) !
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
