Prompt #1: What is you intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships, and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.
After years of exploration and confusion, I have finally decided to major in Political Science. Political Science became an interest when I took my first government class in my senior year in High School. I was born in a politically corrupt, post - communist nation, called Armenia. Living conditions were horrible, and the government corrupt. Fighting would emerge in the streets where the children played, and jobs were lost day after day.
After my family was blessed with the opportunity to begin a new life in America, I finally saw what a proper government is. When my parents brought my brother and me to this nation, we did not have to worry about whether or not we were going to have electricity or running water in the house that night. We didn't have to worry about our front and back yards being unsafe to play, or whether or not either one of our parents was going to lose their job. We finally had the opportunity to be the carefree children we loved to be. However, it was not until I started high school that I realized the sole reason for the differences in living conditions between America and Armenia was America's lack of a corrupt government.
This is when my interest developed in the subject. Upon learning how our government functioned, specifically the three branches and the division of powers, I realized how complex and brilliant our democratic government really is. What fascinated me the most, however, was the fact that even though the government we have today is the same government our founding fathers had originated centuries ago, the world still houses nations with corrupt, imperialistic and dictatorial governments.
Luckily for me, as my interest began to develop in my senior year in high school, the city where I live, Glendale, California, was holding elections for city hall. I volunteered on a number of campaigns and gained firsthand experience in the topic that interested me so much. I had learned to love the opportunities our government offers its citizens and was thrilled to be a part of it by volunteering for campaigns. In addition, I have also volunteered for our presidential election. For both elections, I was responsible for answering calls, sending letters, and going door to door to promote the candidates.
Volunteering for these campaigns helped me understand the importance of living in a democratic nation. I got to experience firsthand how politicians and ordinary citizens worked hard to achieve the greatest good for the nation and our community. I began to appreciate the right to vote, and the power of the individual in our democratic society. I learned to value what I am gifted with, and that is living in a nation with a government that cares so greatly about its citizens. I was taught to never take for granted what I valued, and therefore would love to expand my knowledge on our nation's government, and ultimately graduate from a UC with a degree in Political Science.
hi,
i don't like the way you start your topic. "After years of exploration and confusion, I have finally decided to major in Political Science" <-- do you see how it may sound like okay i've explored all my options and i was just so confused so i finally decided ill just stick with poli sci. i think you should remove it or change it to make it sound like poli sci was your calling.
other than that you answer the question. you might want to work a little on the grammar and vocab just add a little punch.
just my opinion, hope it helps.
gd luck
It helps a lot thank you very much !!!
Looking back, it is apparent to me now that Political Science has been a great interest to me ever since I began my life in America. I was born in a politically corrupt, post - communist nation, called Armenia. Living conditions were horrible, and the government unfair. Fighting would emerge in the streets where the children played, and jobs were lost day after day.
Does that seem like a better introduction to you?
much better... ofcourse these are just my view points so feel free to not take em however id like to make some suggestions:
sometimes taking us back first then telling us this is why i want to major in poli sci can be pretty dramatic.
okay let me clarify i like this part "I was born in a politically corrupt..." i think starting with that might give you that punch i was talking bout. so maybe you should consider starting with it then editing the rest of the paper to fit around that.
okay basically you have a good dramatic story to base your love for poli sci, exploit it! make the reader feel the hardships you went through and why it has instilled love for political science. it makes you want to understand politics, comparative politics, strategies and tactics.
also dont make america sound like gods gift to the world because any true political analysts knows that even america has a corrupt government, people are just unaware of it ( i personally love political science as well so this is my point of view)
Good evening :)
Mechanically, make sure not to use contractions in formal academic writing, as they are inappropriate; for instance, "didn't" should be "did not." Also, make sure you are capitalizing only proper nouns and the first words of sentences; for instance, "Political Science" shouldn't be capitalized.
In regards to content, I agree with the other members' opinions; I also like the revisions to the opening paragraph. I like your description and example; it is very appropriate for this prompt.
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
Thank you so much for your opinions. It helps a lot!!
