Prompt #1 (freshman applicants)
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
When I was in first grade, our teacher asked the class to draw out what we aspired to be when we grew up. While the other girls drew puppies and kitties to illustrate their desires to become a veterinarian, I was absorbed in drawing a bright pink dress on my paper. Underneath my drawing I wrote,"dress designer" in neat letters. My naiveté at the time did not know that dress designer essentially meant fashion designer. While I not longer have intentions of becoming a fashion designer, I still follow my precedented desire to delve into an aspect of design.
Being planted in the heart of Silicon Valley, I have grown accustomed to seeing business parks in every which direction I turn. Even though I grew up being immersed in such a high tech environment, I managed to break free of the math and science current and follow my own path. Instead, I turned all my attention and focus towards something I loved that the bay area also had to offer. Living so close to San Francisco and San Jose, I drew most of my inspiration from these culturally rich cities. Despite all of my friends being focused intently on studying math and science, I persistently pursued my passion in art.
In the beginning, I blindly listened to my parents' preset goals of me becoming a doctor, but as I found myself increasingly struggling in the subjects of math and science, I reevaluated my goals. This time I was determined to start from scratch and rebuild my path based on my own interests.
My dreams of pursuing art has created a rift between my relationships with my parents over the years. When I told my parents my intentions of studying art in college, I was met with strong opposition and much disapproval. They immediately jumped on the "starving artist" stereotype and tried to stomp out any possibility of me pursuing art. I was disappointed by their narrow-mindedness. My mom had always told me to keep my eyes open and not get hung up with a single idea. I did not understand why she was going against her teachings now or how this was any different from what she had always advised me. She was so afraid I would fall in with the group of starving artists that she did everything she could to change my mind, including cutting off my art classes which prevented me from receiving extra tips and advice for my artwork. My passion for art was strong enough that studio or not, I was still able to find motivation to work on projects independently. I did not view art as a menial task or an assignment, but rather as an activity I truly enjoyed. I often found myself staying up late working tirelessly on artwork or other small crafts.
Even with all these conflicting opinions around me, I never let any of them overwhelm me, but saw them as minor hurdles that had yet to be overcome. I continue to troop on with my passion for art in hopes that one day they will pay off and allow me to make it as a successful designer. My parents' minds will never be completely at ease with me doing art, but they have realized my sincerity with art and gradually accepted my decision. Although their opposition often times left me flustered, it definitely helped me solidify my beliefs and my realization that art is the direction I want to go towards in college and beyond.
Good evening :)
Mechanically, make sure your sentences really say what you mean. For instance, did you mean "While I no longer..."?
In regards to content, I think this is a great response. You answer the prompt very well, describing your transformation and the effects of those around you. Very nice work!
Regards,
Gloria
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