'a product designer and entrepreneur' - USC Essay

Hello friends, I'm applying for University of Southern California and i was wondering if I could get some feedback on my first essay! I know this is very late, i'm sorry :X The main thing is whether I am on track. My dad thinks I might be going off track trying to answer this question but I do not seem to have any other idea about what else to write as academic interests. All feedback is very much appreciated!!! THANKS :)

Question:
Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC. Please feel free to address your first - and second - choice major selections.

My reply:
My ambition in life is to become a product designer and entrepreneur. I want to design and create innovative new products that will revolutionize the way people live and make their life better - similar to what Steve Jobs did. Product design is all about combining art, science and technology to create products. I have developed some basic skills in art in the form of sketching. Sketching is my main hobby, not just pretty pictures but design of various products with my own twists. Some of the products that I have designed in sketches include football boots with spring-loaded studs & wallets that double as mobile phone cases. Often I spend whole nights sketching various product ideas and creating prototypes or 3D models. Product design requires multi-disciplinary skills and hence I intend to study Engineering as a foundation skill before opting for Masters in Product Design. While Engineering has many facets to choose for my undergraduate program, my interests are in Mechanical Engineering, which is a broad based set of skills whose principles are required in almost any product design. Hence I would like to pursue the Mechanical Engineering undergraduate program in USC Viterbi School Of Engineering. I will be choosing modules such as calculus, fundamentals of physics and writing modules for core modules and design electives for elective modules which I believe will help me fulfil my academic and career interests. I also intend to pursue design & research projects during the undergraduate program in USC. I have actually had some experience doing research projects in my high school. I did 2 research projects over a three year period from grade 10 to grade 12. Both were under the guidance of Professors from the National University of Singapore (NUS). The first involved professors from the Augmented Reality (AR) Lab in the engineering faculty in NUS. The project involved creating computer program to aid a visitor to navigate around a campus using location markers and AR concepts. My second project was under the guidance of a maths professor in NUS and involved mathematical modelling of traffic flows using partial differential equation. Using MATLAB I simulated the equation to see the impact on traffic density and flux when velocity and time were varied. These two projects have showed me how to apply maths and science concepts into the real life problems and also given me a taste at university life. When I join University of California I know I can continue pursuing such projects. The Aerospace and Mechanical Engineering department has mentioned that it will actively support design projects and competitions. This will allow me to have a more hands-on feel to what I have been learning and let me experience how my future (designing products) would be like!

My ambition in life is to become a product designer and entrepreneur. I want to design and create innovative new products that will revolutionize the way people live and make their lifelives better - similar to what Steve Jobs did.

This is a great and impressive essay. It's wonderful to read about someone who knows what they want to do with their life and knows what to do in order to get there. Best of luck to you :)

The project involved creating a computer program to aid a visitor to navigate around a campus using location markers and AR concepts. My second project was under the guidance of a maths professor in NUS and involved mathematical modelling of traffic flows using partial differential equation.

Good job! This essay will surely stand out to the admissions officers!

I feel like your ideas could be better connected, you mention a lot but dont elaborate on a specific idea i think doing so would improve the quality of your essay. Try to create a stronger ending few sentences to truly make it memorable. The language could also be elevated more to make your ideas more effective

Im applying there too hopefully as an aerospace major good luck :)