"Changing Attitudes"- UT admission

Prompt:Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

Tell me what you think!

Changing Attitudes

As I walk into my dance studio it is always an honor to be greeted by the most prestigious dancer I know. Although she hasn't danced for highly recognized dance companies, such as Joffrey Ballet or American Ballet Theatre, her confidence and her ambition to create esteemed dancers led me to re-evaluate the way I think and feel about dance.

I have been taking dance classes from Valerie Tabor eight out of the fifteen years I have been dancing, and out of all of the dance teachers I have had, Val's attitude towards dancing and her dancers has had the greatest impact on me. She teaches in a way in which her students will become optimal dancers, whether it requires her to be tough or teach as if she were a good friend. However the most inspiring qualities that Val has is her ambition and diligence not only to make us better dancers but better people as well.

Eighth grade year I auditioned for Dallas's most successful performing arts high school, and was denied acceptance. As I accepted the fact that I was fine with the outcome and it wasn't the end of the world, I returned to my dance studio to become a stronger and better dancer. A couple of years later, when I was a sophomore in high school, it came to my attention that every dancer in my dance studio that tried out for the performing arts school was accepted. It was at this time that I felt I wasn't good enough to dance and considered to stop dance all together.

I finished out the dance year with intentions of never going back, seeing all these younger dancers going to my dream school ended up being very hard to endure. Val wouldn't let me leave. She said I was too good of a dancer with too much potential to just waste by leaving. I shouldn't let one failure bring me down, because it was bringing me down as a dancer and an individual. She told me of all of the times she auditioned for companies, or shows and didn't get in. Every time she wasn't accepted she looked back and learned from her mistakes to grow even better the next time.

Looking back, giving up after one failure was a bit ridiculous, I was taking the easy way out. The help and guidance of Val led me to realize that I really can become a great dancer, no matter how many times I fail. The past couple of years I have been working harder than ever to become a better dancer and to better accept failure. I wouldn't have been able to do so if Valarie Tabor hadn't taken me aside to help me re-evaluate what is really important to me. Her diligence and ambition of dance will always inspire me as I move forward in my dance career. And hopefully I will become a dance teacher someday to move her inspiration through other dancers

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Its not a terrible essay by any means, but you do make several phrasing and grammar errors that are in need of revision.
Content-wise, it seems alright, but to reiterate, you do make careless mistakes here and there