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My mom & dad made me who I'm today! / influential person in my life


sakun 1 / -  
Mar 24, 2013   #1
Influential Person in my life
Everyone is influenced by somebody that could change them as a better person. That could be their family, friends, or neighbors. In my life, my mom and dad are the one who made me what I am today.

My mom is a person, who did lots of struggles alone in her life and has always take care her four children. She used to live in society, which has discrimination between men and women. My mom told me, when she was young; she never got chance to went to school because that was against the law of the society. Society believes women jobs are only taking care of family and husband. They believe sending women school is like just wasting a time and money. My mom is the person who always reminds me my characteristics and what I represent in the society. Also, she raised me up and enables me to be the person that I am today. My dad; who also live his life alone without us for a long time because my grandparents want him to live far away from home, and earn money. My dad is role model in my life. He taught me a lot about life, especially how to take responsibility for myself, and my family and society. He taught me how to become independent.

One of the main passions in my life is my parents, who gave me endless love, education and my daily necessities. They are inspirations to make me who I am today.
temptprovidence 8 / 163 35  
Mar 24, 2013   #2
My mom is a person, who did lots of struggles alone in her life and has always take care her four children.

and has always take cared for her children

They believe sending women school

They believe sending women to school

My dad is role model in my life.

My dad is a role model in my life
check out for all such petty mistakes. your writing was powerful from sensational point of view.
BEST OF LUCK :)
KYOAAA 6 / 20 1  
Mar 24, 2013   #3
I think the most important part is not showing personality the person who influence you; instead, you should tell more about how you change or orienated by that person.
ChichoTran 7 / 15  
Apr 1, 2013   #4
One suggestion I would say is to sub the word 'mom' for other pronouns. We are aware that you're talking about her so, you can use pronouns to replace some of the repeated words.


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