Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story
Age 2 Story time had just ended and I wanted to make the trek down the library stairs all by myself. I chanted, "me do" (a phrase often said when I wanted to do something myself) until my mother reluctantly let go. I trip I fall and I end up in a bloody mess at the bottom of those dreaded library stairs. However, I bounce right back up as if nothing happened. After this incident story time was promptly moved downstairs for the safety of others.
Age 4 The hill cast a shadow down on my plastic big wheel. It seemed to call my name saying, "Molly come, you can do it" I started to peddle as fast as I could. I had reached the tipping point. I inched forward and let gravity take over. The air brushed my face and my stomach dropped as momentum grew. In that moment I was completely free. Of course something has to always bring humans back to reality, for tastes of ecstasy are rare short and sweet. For me this was a nasty crash that landed me with 9 stitches in my head. My big wheel was later put down in the basement for safety reasons.
Age 5 Going to the JC Penny department store is one of the more exciting things that a five year old can experience. The racks of colorful clothes make for excellent hiding places from the evil store employees and an even better spy headquarters. While hiding in the prom dresses with my sister I spot a store employee coming my way. "Code blue! Code blue! I whisper and my pulse quickens. I make eye contact with the store employee. "Oh no we've been spotted abandon ship may day may day abandon ship!" I decide to make a run for it right into the sharp corners of a checkout counter. Dazed and bloody I turn around and somehow hit my head again. The department store, afraid of a lawsuit, soon institutes tabletop protectors for the safety of others.
Age 14 My foot had been swollen for most of the cross-country season. I figured it was just agitated from the increasing number of miles that I had logged over the past month. Pain was something I was used to so I did not really bother me. Still, my parents insisted I see a doctor. A couple of x-rays later and I learned that I had run most of the season on a broken foot. Despite my protests to finish out the season I was given a boot to wear for 2 months until the bone healed.
Today I have still continued on with my "me do" moments, and at the heart of these moments lay the need to discover. Although clothed in a tad bit of clumsiness and recklessness discovery is a fundamental part of how I identify myself and why I try to continue to learn as voraciously as I sometimes do. I try to carry this curious spirit in nearly everything I do, from attempting to bake with random ingredients to trying to learn how to long board. And while small rules and changes have been created because of my past actions, one day I hope to create a meaningful change in the lives of others through scientific research. Right now, my adventures and smiles (and love of pancakes) make others smile around me, but one day I hope to make a stranger smile because I discovered a medicine that helped him/her. I know that I will earn many more bumps, bruises, scars, and cuts in the name of adventure, but at least to me, discovery seems to be the best type of medicine.
Hi Mary, first of all, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, I hope you find this website to be helpful as well as valuable suggestions and remarks to your essay revision. We aim to provide you with the most accurate feedback that will hopefully hone your skills in writing and develop further necessary writing skills.
Having said that, I believe your essay is written in a way that you have literally translated your ideas to English from your native tongue and most of the time, this is how or what makes the essay quiet odd, the essay you have here is clearly quiet twisted, I somehow find it confusing when you say "me do", I believe you mean, "I can do it", a mantra that will definitely bring you good luck and a lot of encouragement to do the things that you think you can't do.
Further to your essay, I'm not sure how you got suspended, however, I believe one ground is because, I don't see any connection or substance of the essay towards the prompt and this is where it all boils down, you cannot have an essay without understanding the prompt and how to properly approach it. Now, in your revision, I suggest that you think hard of that event or occasion that made you who you are today and what influenced to become the person you are now.
I believe you have the right answer to this prompt, however, the way to approach it can still be enhanced.
