For aliens, my life may seem like a dead plant.

Please respond to the following prompt. Your response should be 250 words or fewer.

sweet onions

One thing Walla Walla is famous for is sweet onions - they're not only tasty, but also multi-layered. What's a layer of your life not highlighted in your application that would add to Whitman's community?

Can my essay relate to the prompt?

I grew up in a small town [name of the town], which is the (country subdivision) of (country Province) in western (country). With a population approximately 2000 people, only one authority department, one kindergarten, and middle school (kids go to [country Province] for secondary education,) and five grocery stores satisfy all the demands of inhabitants. My home was located at the center, and our building was a traditional apartment with no central heating. When my parents went to their jobs in the morning of cold winter, I was left alone in a bed. Getting up, I fired the chimney with coal to warm the freezing room. While I was running to the well to get water in two 25litr small canisters, people from ordinary citizen to the mayor of town greeted with my full name. Getting back home, I made a tea for my parents with the fresh water that I got from the well. Then, the complete silent covered the entire town while I was going to school.

For aliens, my life may seem like a dead plant. However, the reality is an exact opposite of it. Most of the time, I got outdoors, playing football on the street and feeding the appetite for fun. Having limited materials and places to go, I used my imagination to know the world that I see. Learning to entertain myself with from dull tasks such as chopping wood to intense works such as walking one kilometer with 50-liter water in canisters every day taught me the importance of enjoying "the present."

... sweet onions - they're not only tasty, but also multi-layered.I consider that you have to pay attention about this words, not only S + V, but also S+ V.

My home was ] this is passive voice and the meaning not appropriate the sentences, you must just write located at the center...

i think you also have to pay attention with your tense

Learning to entertain myself with fromby doing dull tasks such as ...

Khusel, the essay that you wrote is nowhere near responding properly to the prompt. This is an essay that is asking you to consider what kind if talent, personality, or degree of helpfulness that you can share with the Walla Walla community. I know that you have written some other application prompts that somewhat discuss these topics. However, this essay is asking you to be more specific. For example, if you were not allowed to discuss a particular advocacy or interest of yours in the other prompts, you can do that in this essay. This is all about getting to know you better by finding out how you plan to interact with the student community of the university. Think of something that is special about you. It could be a talent or a skill that you have not presented in the other essays. Maybe you are an active participant in theater plays or musicals? Or you like doing community service when you are not in class? Come up with a unique presentation for one of your extra curricular interests that could boost the way that the student community will benefit from.

@Holt
Thanks All.
This is my alternative essay. What would you say, Holt? Am I again off topic?

I am a midfielder and also a captain of my school football team. I don't prefer to score a goal, but to manage the team to the winning. Football is like playing chess. Like all grandmasters, who think so many moves ahead of them, when I get a ball, within in seconds I try to survey the pitch and each player's positions to carry out exactly what a coach said to us. Then I start to think about ball movement whether it is better through air or ground, how much power needed, or sometimes about showing my mesmerizing nutmeg skills. However, this is not the case for all the time. Sometimes, when my team stuck or I cannot see our team players or when the coach's tactics don't go as planned, I take the lead and shoot the ball. Football is spontaneous that is what makes it different from chess.

Khusel, that is not the correct response either. The essay is asking to respond in a manner similar to this example:

If you were to peel away at my onion exterior, you would find a layer of personality that dislikes conflict. Which is why I do my best to get along with people. I also do my best to mediate between my friends, classmates, and co-workers because I believe that conflict has no place in any relationship. Be it professional or personal, it is important that someone recognize the fact that discord only creates a disturbance in the cooperative nature of a community. This is the the layer of my personality that I plan to bring to the university with me. As a regular student who lives on campus, I will do my best to foster camaraderie and kinship among my classmates, regardless of political belief, sexual orientation, gender, or status in life. I believe that college studies are the great equalizers in this instance so everybody has to learn to just get along and not make enemies of others. It is my hope that I will be able to use these qualities of mine as a mediator to help create a unique Whitman student community.

Write an original essay that takes inspiration from what I wrote above. Find that special character trait of yours that can help to make the student community an even better place to live in during your next 4 years as a student there.

@Holt
After taking your words carefully and reading the example that you provided, I wrote a brand new essay about one of my interest. Again I don't know if I am off topic. This prompt is so challenging for me. Anyway, the club activity is already mentioned on the common app activity section.

I am passionate about being Versatilist. Even though I am interested in economics, I try to learn beyond my interests. The more I read and discover, the more I feel like every discipline is related to each other. How people make a decision in a group influence micro and macroeconomics, but decision making is more related to psychology. If one studies physics, one needs also to learn about philosophy. However, we cannot master all discipline together but discuss them to learn. Almost year ago, I made my passion true by creating the Spectator, a mutual improvement club, and offer four acquaintances - each has a different background - to join my club. Business major, mechanical engineer, philosophy interest, and an aspiring politician were making my club unique and effective. Today, we are close friends and meet every Friday, sharing knowledge, debating topics, discussing problems and searching solution to acquire a broad range of perspectives. The Spectator is one of the layers of my interest that I plan to continue at Whitman. By building close-knit, highly motivated individuals who interested in broad subjects and problem solving, the Spectator will be a center of future leaders, policy makers, environmentalist, businesspeople, artists, scientists, and journalists who will be born from Whitman community. I believe that our discussion is key and one day we will reach an unprecedented settlement to the problem that we want to solve.

Khusel, if you already mention the club in the common app activity portion, then you cannot use the same club activity in this section. One rule that colleges and universities are strict on in their applications is that they do not allow for redundancies or repeated discussions of the same topic in different essay prompts. Think of something else. I know it is difficult, but I am sure that you will find a way to do it. Look for a character trait of yours. It does not have to be a club. It can just be you helping to make other new students feel welcome by being friendly with them. You can say that people who first meet you think you are a snob so they are surprised to find out that you are a very friendly and helpful person once they get to know you. That is a layer of your onion that people won't know about if they don't peel off more layers of your onion skin. Try to use my suggested topic here to develop a statement along those lines. The one you have above would have been perfect to use, if you did not already use it before in a different application prompt. I am so sad about that.

What would you say now? I used a couple of sentences from the example essay that you provided. If it is necessary, I can replace them with my own sentences. Also, what do you about using my previous essay about being Versatilist for a prompt which asks "Please briefly elaborate on an extracurricular activity or work experience that has been an important part of your life"?

At the third layer of my onion exterior, there is a personality that a very friendly and helpful person. When people first meet me, they think I am a quiet so I am a snob. However, they are surprised to find out that I am a very friendly and helpful. I always try to help people who need a help. I learned it from my parents that the help doesn't have to be big or expensive, but if it is at the right time and moment, its value can be measured. This is the layer of my personality that I plan to bring to the university with me. Naturally, I will always continue my love for football and the Spectator, a mutual improvement club at Whitman. Along with this, I will also do my best to deliver a help for those who need it. In this way, I can spread generosity throughout the community. One study found that people are more likely to perform feats of generosity after observing another do the same. Also, helping others and giving them a warm feeling make me happy, giving me a sense of purpose and satisfaction. So it is my hope that I will be able to use these qualities to help to create a close-knit and friendly Whitman community.

Remove the reference to football and The Spectator. That is already being discussed in a different essay prompt. It does not fit with the rest of the essay content in this case. Pick it up from "I will do my best to deliver help..." in order to write a more concise essay based upon what I guided you to write. As for the Versatilist, yes, I believe you can use that developed response for the prompt requirement you provided. It should not be a problem to use because it does not require any more revision in your part in order to make it fit the prompt. It already responds to the prompt as it is. So, at this point, you already know what final revisions you need to apply to the current essay and also, that you don't need to apply revisions to the other one. As such, the essays will both be ready for submission after you apply the instructions. You don't have to ask me for final approval anymore.

@Holt
I took all your words and the essays are ready to submit. But one last question, do you think on the Versatilist essay, is it okay to discuss the wish to continue the club activity at a particular college even though the prompt, I assume, didn't ask this but just to elaborate on one of the important activities?

Khusel, I can't really respond to that in this thread. You see, this thread is dedicated to your other prompt, which we addressed in this thread. You have to start a new thread for the discussion of your common app activity prompt. This is a one topic per thread or one essay per thread forum. So post the other essay about the common app activity prompt, along with the essay you wrote for it in a new thread. That way I can better assess the prompt in relation to your full response. I cannot do that here because the admin will delete the discussion due to the one essay per thread ruling. I'll be on stand by. Post the other essay in a new thread. That way, I can also better review the work that you did. Right now, I am functioning on hearsay and it is difficult to judge your work this way.