UFC Application Question on activities and Essay on my interest in UCF

Hello all,

I'm currently filling out one of my college apps and I could really use some help. It would be very appreciated!

Activities question: "Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences."

My response: "Since November 18th of 2016, I have volunteered more than 300 hours at Memorial Hospital Miramar. This experience has proven to be incredible for me for it has shown me that I want to have a career in which I will be able to help out the community. Some of the activities that I perform include discharging patients, passing out water, assembling admission packets, etc. I really enjoy getting to interact with patients one on one because sometimes you'll come across someone who doesn't have anyone by their side during these challenging times and I'm given the opportunity to be there and cheer them on."

Essay question: "Why are you interested in UCF?"

My response: "Why I'm interested in UCF is as simple as asking "Why not?". One of the reasons being is that it's located in Orlando, one of my favorite vacation destinations, and there's never a dull moment when I'm there. I've also watched plenty of videos of students who go to UCF and it seems that there's always some sort of event going on for students to engage in, thus proving that the university has a certain aspect of vitality to it. Another reason why I know for certain that I want to attend UCF is that of how highly my cousin speaks of it. When I first realized I was interested in UCF, I asked my cousin for more information given that she had just finished her freshmen year there and anyone could easily see the pride she holds closely from being a UCF Knight. Although I will be pursuing a business degree, I'm interested in attending medical school and with the new state-of-the-art building and technology available at the UCF College of Medicine, I believe I would be able to excel as one of the young doctors of the 21st century."

Again, thank you so much!

Hi, while describing one of your extra curricular activity, also include what you learnt from it, like saying that volunteering made you develop a work ethic like being on time and so on. Don't just describe it or what you did but also how it affected you.

As for why you chose UCF, I think it's okay (even though you didn't list academic interests as a primary reason). Since you chose it for the campus setting and school spirit, make it sound more genuine as a reason.

I wish you good luck on your application

Jen, for the extra curricular activity part, you can't just enjoy the volunteer service, there needs to be a definitive statement as to how this activity has either helped to shape your character or, is the reason why you decided to pursue a specific college degree. A simple adjustment is required that will reflect the importance of this volunteer activity to you on a more serious scale. The depiction is too light and does not add a sense of importance to your volunteer activities in relation to your career choices or personal development.

As for the Why UCF question, don't ever tell the reviewer that you want to go to that university because you love taking vacations there. The first thing that will enter the reviewer's mind is that you are not a serious student and that you are looking for a party university to attend. Keep that information to yourself. You can share that with others after you have been admitted to the university. Don't lay too much importance on the videos that you watched and how the students looked. The reason that carries more weight is the first hand information that you got from your cousin. That will be the perfect response to the prompt, you just need to build up the information on it.

Thank you so much for the feedback @Chizy7 and @Holt. I really appreciate it!

Alright so I scrapped everything I had and this is what I came up with. Please feel free to leave feedback. Thank you! :)

"Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences."
: Volunteering at a hospital for nearly a year now has been without a doubt the best decision I have ever made. Not only has it helped further strengthen my character and work ethic, but it has also opened my eyes to the magnificent world of the medical field. My experience as a volunteer molded me into a person of humility, dedication, and integrity. Some of my fondest memories include being at a patient's side and consoling them through their moments of hardship. It also taught me to better appreciate all the sacrifices that those who work in this field go through to save someone's life, which may go without admiration at times. The amount of satisfaction that I walk out of the hospital with at the end of my shift just further reassures me of the fact that being in the medical field is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

"Why are you interested in UCF?": From the very moment that I realized I was interested in attending UCF the first person I asked for more information was my cousin who had just completed her freshmen year there. Anyone from a mile away could see how much pride she held from being a UCF Knight and she assured me that she couldn't have chosen a better school. Another one of my deciding points was that of the College of Medicine that UCF built from the ground up. It would be a dream of mine come true if I could attend a school that is so committed to teaching their students that it includes clinicals, research opportunities, and laboratory experiences, which might I add a lot of schools don't.