[b]ESSAY A: STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
On January 9, 2005 I awoke at six a.m. for school just like any other day. The smell of eggs and sausage from the kitchen encouraged me out of my bed, into the shower, and then down the stairs. When my brothers and I were finally situated, we loaded up the car and drove towards Tomball High School.
By the end of third period the day was proving itself to be even more boring than usual, and when the bell rang for fourth period, I slowly made my way there. During class, my teacher received a phone call from the front office. Setting the phone down she called my name to gather my belongings, and head to the front office. As any fourteen year old would be, I was thrilled. I remember thinking to myself how lucky I was to leave school early that day, but I would have traded anything in the world to erase the news I was about to receive.
My mom was standing near the front door with tears in her eyes. Immediately my heart sank to my stomach, and I ran to her demanding what was going on. "Your cousin Tyler passed away sweetie," is all I heard. The rest of the day was so clouded with confusion, anger, and hurt that I couldn't tell you what happened next even if I tried.
At the age of eighteen, Tyler Franks passed away of a drug overdose. Imagine the confusion you would feel if a loved one died from drugs. How could he do that to himself? How could he do that to us? Could we have prevented it? Is it our fault? But he wasn't raised like this...What could he have been thinking? Well, the truth is that the longer you allow these questions to eat you up, the farther you are from an answer. I fought with these questions in my mind for about a year until it hit me. No one is perfect, and being angry won't bring him back. No one deserves to feel the pain my family and I felt, and all it takes is one person to help others prevent it. We can sit here and ask ourselves why bad things happen, or we can try our hardest to stop them from happening to other people.
When I sat down to write this essay, I struggled with how I would portray Tyler to my audience, worried to let him be viewed in a negative light, but it was Tyler's negative light in the first place that opened up a positive road to my future. Even though Tyler's death proved a major road block in my life, it also shaped my beliefs on school and life. There isn't one single day that I wake up and use Tyler's passing as a motivation to be all that I can be in this life.
With the help of The University of Texas at Austin, I can continue to educate myself on ways to help people in this world. There is absolutely nothing else I would rather do than to supply people with hope and encouragement in their everyday lives. I dedicate myself to assisting anyone who needs it, and admission to The University of Texas would bring me one step closer to completing my goal. I am certain that I obtain the expertise needed to be proficient at the University of Texas. Through out my experiences and adventures in life, I have acquired strong skills in areas of discipline, leadership, responsibility, and friendship that will be a positive asset to this school. Along with the skills I possess, I have also navigated from rock bottom back to the top, and if given this amazing opportunity, I guarantee to benefit The University of Texas, the lives around me, and the overall world for the better. "What starts here changes the world." I can help change our world.
Your narrative is very strong, but this doesn't quite fulfill the function of a statement of purpose because the purpose you state -- helping people -- is too vague. You say it in three different ways, all too vague:
With the help of The University of Texas at Austin, I can continue to educate myself on ways to help people in this world.
As opposed to people in some other world? Help them how? How, exactly, will a degree from UT help you in that?
There is absolutely nothing else I would rather do than to supply people with hope and encouragement in their everyday lives.
That could mean anything from being a friendly Wall-Mart greeter to being Barack "Yes We Can" Obama. Could you be more specific?
I dedicate myself to assisting anyone who needs it,
This could cover anything from handing out meals to the homeless as a member of Food Not Bombs to assisting pilots as an air traffic controller. Again, you need to be more specific.
