Hello,
I have prepared a essay for the scholarship. The scholarship website does not provide information regarding the limitation of word or else. I have enrolled several reason for deserving this scholarship. I am in extreme need to make this essay better. Kindly provide me your valuable suggestion.
Please tell us why you should receive a scholarship from XXXX. Please provide as much detail as you can about yourself, your ambitions for the future and what you hope to achieve while you are at XXXX.
Everybody despite their sex, socio-economic status, ethnicity and religion have the right to dream and make their dream come true. Belonging to a middle class family, I also have dream of studying a Master's degree in UK. And this is an attempt to make my dream land on my real career path. My parents have two kids, me and my younger sister. My father is a National Level Chess Player. He has won National Chess Championship thrice in his career. Despite this achievement, the other side is, he is never involved in any income generation activity. Our household expense is dependent upon the rent of four rooms. Alongside, I have been working after completion of my undergraduate to support my family. I consider myself responsible for taking care of family and fulfilling their needs because I am the eldest kid and also because my sister is ten year junior than me who is appearing her grade ten exam; school leaving certificate this year. Because of my background, I have come to realize that acquiring knowledge is the only weapon I have available; I am resolved to wield it effectively to achieve my goal. Therefore, this first reason why I need this scholarship.
I grew up in a country where female are not prioritized for higher education. They are usually endorsed into marriage relationship which thereafter they turned into homemaker (housewife) depending on their husband for everything and their activity limits taking care of family. The second reason for deserving this scholarship is, this scholarship will renowned me as public health nutritionist and ultimately support me gain independency in terms of financial need.
The third reason I define for attaining this scholarship in studying Msc in Public health Nutrition is because my country Nepal is in much need of nutritional assistance. Demographic Health Survey of 2011 which reports 41 percent of under five children suffers from malnutrition (stunting) provides evidence for the need of nutritional assistance. The reason for the situation is partly because of poverty and partly due to lack of awareness. I actually encountered with the situation in my life when I worked in hard to reach district of Nepal. I could see under five children and pregnant women with a very low weight. Based on this experience and as a Public Health Nutritionist, I desire to be a part of government and health organization in planning and implementing nutritional intervention. Further, I want to play a role of change agent towards the community people to bring improvement in their food choices and eating behavior. Moreover, I believe I will be capable for project management as well since I have already acquired experience in program implementation at various organizations.
The earthquake of 2015 has turned the poor nutritional status into worse especially among children and women groups. I recognize this scholarship is a way to step ahead to reduction in malnutrition and contribute toward victims of earthquake as well which is a forth reason for being awarded this scholarship.
My ethnicity is Newar which belong to Indigenous-disadvantageous. People of this group are underprivileged in the society. Therefore, this group needs much support and attention.
Accreditation as Public Health Nutritionist is an asset to me and I can use it to work in hospitals and organizations where I can counsel and advise people on need nutrient and diet based on their diet related illness. The pattern of diet related illness is likely increasing. Three percent of the adult Nepalese population has diabetes.
My objective to enroll in Msc Public Health Nutrition is also to obtain exposures to interactive practical sessions and various workshops, attain experience of learning in new environment which will distinctly grow my confidence level and further my leadership skills in project management. I believe in myself and I believe, with this scholarship, it will give me the foundation I need to build a better me, and enable me to become a person who makes a difference in this world.
I intend to seek prosperous dissertation using secondary data (of demographic health survey) of nutritional aspect for further analysis which is a part of this course. The knowledge of using SPSS and Microsoft excel and word in me will definitely be a way for strengthening it.
I am attracted to the master program at XXXXX for precisely this reason. Only XXXX offers the kind of collaborative experience that suits my personal needs and professional goals. I am excited about the program's direction and its emphasis on practical application. I appreciate that every course offers the opportunity for independent research, and that the faculty is open to student suggestions for improvement. The flexibility and patience of the faculty and the talent of the students makes LJMY a singular choice for my master degree.
I hope to find myself at the welcoming doors of XXXXX this September, to approach the unique manuscripts of the XXXX's library with awe compounded by anticipation, and then enter into the finest academic community available to cultivate my research and contribute my voice.
. And this is an attempt to make my dream land on my real career path. ...........
.....Despite this achievement, the other side is, an another side about him, he is never involved in any income generation activity. .....
They are usually endorsed into marriage relationship which thereafter they turned them into homemaker (housewife) depending on their husband for everything and their activityactivities limits taking care of family. The second reason for deserving this scholarship is , this scholarship will renowned me as public health nutritionist and ultimately supports me to gain independency in terms of financial need.
Hello Linda,
Thank you so much for it. I am in much need of assistance. May I request you to complete the rest of the essay because I know that the rest part is not arranged proper. Please help me turn the essay a more appealing and advocating.
Hoping to find the rest part as soon as possible.
Hi Sajama, Regarding your introduction, saying that studying masters in UK is your dream is like a child dreaming to study abroad. And to fulfill that dream, he took career as a reason. Don't mention too much about scholarships by saying first reason, second reason......It will not help, you need not to show need of scholarship rather show that how you are fit for scholarship. You have the passion but not able to reflect in your essay. The essay is more like a numerical data , you need to tell a story, do not demand scholarship. Don't say scholarship will help you say studies will help you and to do that studies you need scholarship. The sequence is:
1. Your background and how you got interested in health nutrition.
2. What made you chose this program? Why this school and how the program and school will help you to attain your career goals?
3. What are your career goals and how you will achieve them with the help of studies?
4. What will you do with the scholarship? Why the school should give you the scholarship? Don't make financial status of family and country as the primary reason. Rather make your career and objectives for your own country as the main reason. you need to show the potential you have and [passion for study and community service.
Don't write two or three lines rather write in paragraphs.
