Hello EssayForum Team,
The following essay is just a draft. Please let me know if I should correct anything. I am not sure if the end is the best.
Thank you for reading and commenting on my essay. Please know that the name on the essay is not the original person. I changed the name beforehand.
Thanks again! Cheers!
Describe a time you helped another student succeed and what you learned from the experience. (300-900 words)
I met Carlos in August of 2015. He was sitting next to me in my Calculus III class, and he was also in my Differential Equations (DFQ) class, surprisingly. I had actually met him the previous semester at the STEM lab, but we never really exchanged any words until that August. After our Calculus III class, we spoke for about 20 minutes on the way to our car, and he confessed to me that he was nervous because he had been out of school for two years because his mother was ill, and he had to stop school in order to help her. The last math course he had taken was Calculus II. This was very difficult to hear because in order to succeed in Calculus III and DFQ, he needed to have expertise in Calculus II. I told him about my study techniques and how I spent most of my time at the library studying after class, and I asked him to join me. "I will help you." I said.
I noticed that Carlos was quite smart. He had knowledge about other subjects like Physics and Electricity. This was very rewarding because not only was I able to help him with Calculus, but he also taught me many things I didn't know. The second week of classes, we had a routine going. We would go to Calculus III on Mondays from 11:00pm until 1:00pm. From there we would go to have lunch at a nearby Cuban restaurant where we spoke about family, friends, science, math, and everything that the universe had to offer. After our lunch, we would go to the library and begin the day's homework. By 4:30pm, we would be getting ready for our 5:00pm class, Differential Equations: his worst fear. And after the one-hour class time, we would go to the library right away and begin this class's homework. We spent most of our semester doing this routine, and we would always leave the college library at closing time, which was around 10:00pm. We would also study Sunday's all day at the library when we had to.
I didn't mind staying so late or studying weekends. I wanted to help him. I wanted to show him the way I worked and the way I succeeded in every course by being persistent and by having a daily routine. Because of our daily routine, he was able to grasp the concept from both courses, and was attaining good grades in both courses. He thanked me many times. I remember one day we were getting ready for our final exam in Differential Equations, and he had not studied much the day before. We were at the library with other classmates and it seemed very loud and distracting. He came to me and asked if I could help him review for the test. "Let's go somewhere quiet." I said. We went to the room next door where there were no students, only him and I. I took out the review sheet I had prepared the night before with all the important notes and formulas for the test. We reviewed for a whole hour, and I gave him problems for each section. After the session, we went to the class and took the test.
He thanked me right after the test and said to me, "If it weren't for you, my friend, I would not have done as well in these classes. You took the time to review stuff from the past and helped me get back to the level of math I used to be at." I was happy to hear this. He was back to where he wanted to be, and I was able to help him get there. Days later he sends me the following text: "You motivate me to keep working hard and to study that there are no excuses in life." I cried from joy because I was able to impact his life and help him succeed in life.
From this experience, I learned the value of friendship. I learned that in order to succeed in anything, we need someone to help us and guide us. I learned that my success wasn't just about only me, but also, about the success of my classmates too. By helping Carlos, I was able to not only help him get to a better level in math, but also he was inspired by me to do better in his life all because we spent a whole semester studying together. From this experience I learned a lot about myself too. He often commented on how smart I was and how persistent I was with my work, which was something I never really noticed until he had told me. I was always hard on myself thinking I could always do better, and Carlos pointed out that I was doing the right thing. I learned the importance of our friendship, which was something new to me, and I cannot thank him enough for that, forever.
Hi Juan, I could not find anything wrong with the essay, you wrote it well. Minor changes which I would have done differently here are:
.....taught me many thingsconcepts/ideas/....lets be more specific here. ....
He often commented ...... how persistent I was ...........I never really noticed until he had told me.
Well, this might not be so attractive to say it here as you already started your essay by helping your friend with your method and that includes being persistent too. Like in this line:
I wanted to show him the way ..........by being persistent ...........
For the end, may be you can add words like confidence in yourself, team work, joy of helping others....You can also add the part explaining the comparison between the changes you felt after meeting him. If anything was missing or changed that was not there earlier.
Hope this helps:)
