Prompt: Highlight what you believe to be the most important issue facing your country today (for example, economic, education, healthcare, social or public policy) and articulate how achieving a Bachelor's degree from the University of Toronto, through the MasterCard Foundation Scholars Program, will empower you to tackle this issue and related challenges, in your home country.
The energy crisis in Nigeria has been a concern for both the Nigerian government and the people for the past four decades. While other countries have long overcome this predicament, Nigeria still looms in pitch darkness. Many businesses are moving away from the country due to inability of the national power supply to meet their demand while homes have had to adapt to the epileptic power supply or in some cases total blackout .
The few companies operating in Nigeria largely depend on the off-grid supply using diesel/gas/petrol-powered electric generators thereby running at huge overhead costs and contributing to greenhouse gas pollution among other harmful environmental problems. According to the Director-General of Centre for Management Development, Dr Kabir Usman in 2012, 60 million Nigerians spend 1.6trillion naira on generators annually. This generators spew out noxious fumes often in unventilated areas. On the street, car emissions go unregulated. The contributing factors to pollution are a reliance on using solid fuels for cooking, burning waste and traffic pollution from very old cars.
Hands-on learning in labs and in field, proficient researching techniques, internships in the real world industries, skills of designing and developing industries and leadership of creative entrepreneurial startups are the elements I am looking for when pursuing mechanical engineering in University of Toronto. I strongly believe I will gather these and more in the four year period from brilliant professors and rigorous, diverse and world-class academic arena of your university. Having those crucial foundations, l would be able to highly reduce pollution and create cheaper power for industries. This would also encourage the growth of more industries aiding the development of my country.
If renewable energy solutions like solar energy, wind power biomass, geothermal energy are added to the present energy supply, more than sixty thousand megawatts or sixty Gigawatts of power required to place Nigeria in the category of industrialized nation can be achieved without significant increase in environmental pollution. Achieving a Bachelor's degree from the University of Toronto would empower me to tackle this issue.
Charles, I do really like the idea development so far. It is indeed well-developed and well-written essay. However, there is still one thing that bothers me concerning your essay. It is about TIME . If your goal is to solve / tackle the issue of electricity after completing your bachelor degree, it seems only like a day-dreaming. This is why you need to mention that this is a long-term goal. Without mentioning whether short or long-term goal, you are more likely going to face skeptical view from the examiner / selection committee. Therefore, I suggest you to add the essential information about when you are going to solve this issue, right after study? impossible, but I believe after several years of research, the problem is gradually going to be significantly tackled. Remember, do not talk for a big scale, focus on the most possible solution first.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 Nwanko, the problem that I see with your essay is that you have dreamed to far beyond the actual education you are to receive through the foundation. Let's put it this way, the problem with Nigeria is the lack of electrical power. Fine. You presented that quite clearly in the first part of your essay. Now, for the second part, you will have to do some research related to the major you wish to take at the U of T.
Before you write the second part of the essay, I want you to take some time to reflect and think about what kind of solution you can bring to the problem in the short term. Hypothesize about a short term solution that you can develop while a college student at U of T. This will be presented in the form of a thesis statement / question. By presenting your plan in a hypothetical form and relating the development of the planned solution to the classes you will be taking, professors you will be learning from, and the internships or other training programs at the university you will be able to show how studying at the U of T will empower you in terms of tackling the issue and challenge of the power shortage in your country.
With reference to the Mastercard scholarship, just make sure to mention that due to your financial difficulties and lack of proper education in this field in your home country, you will need their help in order to be able to prepare yourself to help your country become a competitive 21st century country by receiving the proper education that you can bring back and share with your countrymen in the hopes of solving the power crisis in the not so distant future .
