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Why and what create an NGO and with who I will work


wissou 1 / 2  
Jan 15, 2017   #1
please help me correcting this essai. Is it good enough I am applying for a master

to make life in morocco better



My huge love of nature makes me escape city whenever I want to travel, thus, I always confront the pitiless state of the countryside. So I always kept thinking about what I could do for those isolated people. Then I got the idea to create an NGO to help people in far villages and towns in Morocco who are having lots of difficulties in their lives. They don't even have the basic needs. Every year people dies in the Moroccan Mountains and desert from poverty, diseases and famine.

Yes, there is a lot of NGOs here in Morocco who collects every year clothes and food and gives it to these people, but that doesn't really improve their lives, once they consume this help they need another one. The idea I have is to look for projects and ways that will improves their life on the long term As the Chinese proverb says ""Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime"

Being a student in water engineering, that most of those village suffer from its lack, makes me see that the State efforts are not enough, and we should find others ways to help this population. I want to create a community of citizens (engineers, doctors, teachers .....) who want to volunteer in order to make countryside people's life a better one.

So we will try to find technical projects that we could implant there. For example:
To face famine we will try to improve the productivity of agriculture, we could think of drilling a well, teaching farmers the newest culture methods, provide them with some modern technologies...

To face diseases: simple ways to ameliorate water quality, avoid pollution by waste management and treatment.....
To face poverty: creation and monitoring of income-generating activities, like production of some local product and exportation...
Those are some necessary needs of these people, but these are not all the needs, education is also a basic needs that not all countryside's children can get, some students need to cross many kilometers to reach the school, so most of the time they drop out. Helping them with their education's level is one of the goals we will work out; I have plenty of ideas on which I will work as much as I can because an instructed countryside community is a dream that I always had, and because a good education will push those people to have the ability to improve their life by theirs owns, to know their rights and how to get them.
stalingard 1 / 3 2  
Jan 15, 2017   #2
First paragraph

Huge is used to quantify numbers.
In my view - My strong feeling of affection towards nature

isolated people
In my view - needy/ deprived people.

Create = implies generate or produce
In my view - Pain and suffering provoked me with an idea to start an NGO

Every year people dies die in the Moroccan Mountains and desert from of poverty, diseases and famine.

2nd para
Yes, there is are a lot of NGOs here
will can improves their life and making them independent & self sufficient

I am unsure if we can use proverbs.

3rd
Being a student in water engineering, [....] make countryside people's life a better one.

above doesn't make much sense
says something on lines of - my education in water engineering and efforts of State together evidences the fact that a vigorous or determined attempt needs to be point into place to address....

4th
implant
in my view - undertake

To face diseases
To face famine
in my view - all this needs to be replaced by counteract or reduce

I am no expert in this subject. However, I took a view to tweak this essay a bit to bail you out. Lastly, wait for experts opinion for final remarks.
OP wissou 1 / 2  
Jan 15, 2017   #3
thank you stalingard
did I need to add a conclusion ??
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Jan 15, 2017   #4
Wissam, before I can help you develop this essay, I first need to know what kind of essay you are trying to write. Is this supposed to be a Motivation Letter, Letter of Intent, Statement of Purpose, or Personal Statement? The essay doesn't really qualify as a statement that can be submitted for a masters degree application at this point. In fact, it does not allow itself to properly represent any element of a masters degree essay. Unless I know what essay for the application you are trying to write, I will not know which elements of this paper can be taken and used to become the basis or foundation of your required essay. Kindly get the necessary information to me as soon as possible by posting the kind of essay that you need in your response to me. I can help you from there.


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