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Culture Consume. KGSP Graduate Program - essential jigsaw for my career. Self-Introduction Letter


missgiggle 1 / -  
Mar 7, 2017   #1
Hello

I plan to apply for Master degree of Sociology in Kookmin University. This is my first time writing Self-Introduction to apply, please help check and advice if there is any change I should make.

I did not blow up on the project that I mentioned below because I will attached the abstract along with the CV, is it fine to use this version?

Thank you very much
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barriers and challenges on my path



Some people choose their path from their own personal preference, but I choose my path from barrier and challenge. I was born in a small village in the Southern part of Thailand. When I was in Kindergarten school, I was first in class all the time until primary school, at that time many families send their children to study in big town, I was one of them, I asked my mother to send me when I was in Grade 6. At the time I wanted to meet new society and experience the big town, where I get chances to visit and I like it. My mother gave me a condition, which is to study in boarding school of the province only. The admission was considered very hard as the competition is fierce within the Southern part, and finally I got admitted. First term in school, I achieved 3.5 (out of 4.0), it was the first time I feel disappointed with myself and feel bad to my family. I learned that there are many people who studied better than me when I have to study within a bigger community. From that time onward, I understand what competition is. It is not a competition that causes pressure to compete with others, but it is a challenge against myself in order to develop myself constantly. I was not only developing my educational skill, but learn to live my life since 13 years old. I have to adapt being a discipline person especially in education because no one will control me to read books like when I was home. I have to manage my expense as my mother give me a monthly living cost. With the stated life experiences in life, it makes me own the trait of being a perfectionist and being a fighter.

Next milestone of challenge starts again when I have to choose the faculty in university. At that time, I have 2 choices, between Economics and Sociology. Since I am quite aware of Economics while having almost null knowledge in Sociology, and on top it is less known in Thailand, I started to find more details and this area really fascinate me. Sociology is a new science that I never touch before, it open my view for social and culture through research studies. Once again the challenge comes together with my desire to explore and finally I chose to study Sociology. My major that I decided to choose was Research. It is now my expertise area, the area that gives me the urge to study and explore new things all the time through new findings and people with different cultures and values. With the research studies that I need to conduct, one of them was to explore the village in strategic Industrial area, when there was flood in Thailand, year 2012, the worst incidence that happened in Thailand. The topic I explored was "The Vulnerability To Disaster", it is a case study that I give to the villagers who are the sufferers of this incidence. After leveling up with projects by projects, I continue to study various social contexts, and one of them was Cultural Difference in Vietnam. I get to observe and exchange cultural experience and learning from local people, on top of that I get to understand Cultural Difference is one of the key highlight that I love and passionate about, not only the story that I hear, but also the culture that is being taught through generations.

With high enthusiasm and energy after graduated, I started working in Research field. And I came to know that most of the company are Marketing Research Company and are for business purpose only, but Sociology is not use in terms of business purpose. At the point, I was not disappointed for what I studied, but start adapting along with context that I have studied I started by being a Fieldwork Supervisor. Main job is to recruit target and to find their inner with the information we need to dig out from them. At that time I learnt to interview from mass target to high-tier target. With my background of sociology that groomed me to understand the value behind what people speaks and react, together with my character being an extrovert and friendly person, I was put in charge of being a moderator to handle various projects. This is where my dream comes true - meeting people, understand their values and analyze them to give the best implication that is an actionable result. I feel lucky, my passion takes me to the right place.

But duty calls, as my family need me to fill in a part of my family business in order to setup new business model about product import and export, which I aimed to learn at my fastest pace and I start working on it right away. Then, I applied in Logistic Company with zero knowledge to study full process of logistics. At the same time, I did not leave out my Research career, but move to be a Research Freelancer. It has been 3 years and I finally implemented new business model and completed setup process for my family's business in my hometown. Now it is the best time for me to come back and pursue my career. Most important purpose in studying is to broaden and deepen marketing tools to be a major part of Social Change for better direction under the context of Social Marketing. Interesting key concern point and Social Phenomena are based on the context of Culture Consumer, the joint-phenomena that impact on the living of Modern Society, where the leading field of studying is South Korea because of its well-known, capable of penetrating in Cultural Consumer, either through literature, music, dramas and different entertainment areas, all are considered a success and widely spread around the world. With KGSP Scholarship, it is an essential jigsaw that will not only help fill up my career, but also the most important component which will bring new tools to help develop quality living with high impact among the society.
JoyK 3 / 9 3  
Mar 7, 2017   #2
@missgiggle
Hello,
Your essay has a lot of grammatical errors, particularly tenses. Places where you were supposed to use PAST tenses you have used present tense.
I think your essay will sound better with right tenses. Good luck.
okorobiadimma14 6 / 82 50  
Mar 7, 2017   #3
Niranya, the first sentence in your essay is strong enough to capture the attention of the reviewer, however, the rest of the sentences, I am sorry, do not buttress your opening statement..Rather than going way back to your kindergarten age, why don't you cite your high school experience. Develop specific points about the fierce competition in gaining admission into the boarding school you made reference to in the 1st paragraph and then tell the reviewer what made you outstanding during this period. You may bring in the 3.5 grade point achievement but throw more light on how you got there. In your second paragraph, be specific about what informed your choice of Sociology as against Economics which you were more conversant with. Develop your points towards that line.

Create a paragraph (probably paragraph three) that will elaborate these points:
With the research studies that I need to conduct, [....], and one of them was Cultural Difference in Vietnam. These could serve as good experience if you can be specific on your roles and achievements as regards the 2012 flood in Thailand. Connect the experience to your motivation to explore cultural differences in Vietnam and integrate the whole points to the need to advance your career in Sociology at KGSP. Tell the reviewer what you are bringing to the table if you are offered an opportunity into the program. Your 4th paragraph should address your future career plans and how Sociology qualification would help you to achieve this plans. After that, you can create a compelling concluding paragraph.If you follow these guides, I believe that you will create a better essay than what you have now and then we can continue from there.


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