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Task 1 for AAS application. Reasons for choosing to study the course and the institution.


bushraAhmed 1 / 1  
Apr 28, 2017   #1

Slum Living and Public Health



Hi. I am applying for AAS in the sector of sustainability and planning. I would be ever grateful if you could review the following and suggest revisions or changes. It is a little urgent and a quick response will be really helpful.

1. How did you choose your proposed course and institution*? (up to 2000 characters)

Working as an architect for the past three years, I have been involved in projects that encourage interaction between the people and the place. However, the concentration has mostly been for people who can afford the services of a designer. Whereas the general people and, most importantly, the city I live in is receiving none of the benefits of the same architect or planner. I am from Dhaka, the capital of my country and the second least liveable city in the world according to the" Annual Liveability Index" published by Economist Intelligence Unit of the UN. When I read about this I was upset and furious too.

Later it occurred to me that we did not need a survey to tell us this. The everyday challenges that the residents face are enough to understand the living conditions of Dhaka. It is one of the densest and most polluted cities that is trying to survive with the minimum infrastructure. With the growth of population and limited opportunities in other cities and villages, more people are moving in with hopes of a better life. But will Dhaka be able to accommodate or cater to the needs of its ever growing population is yet to be addressed. A majority of people are living in slums, our productive hours of the day are spent stuck in traffic, roads drown in water with even the slightest rain, lack of drainage and sewerage systems are only few to name.

Being a professional working in the same sector, this disturbs me. As I got involved with more urban projects of my office I realized that my responsibility is not only to design for the affluent but also lies with the city I grew up in and has given me so much. I want to be able to contribute to its improvement and growth in a way that is long term with reduced impact on the environment. In order to grow my knowledge in planning and development of cities in a sustainable manner, I want to pursue my further education in sustainability development and planning. I chose Macquaire University because it offers the course that will grow a foundation of planning for me and also encourage interests in social change and environmental aspects of planning. The opportunity it provides of learning both in the classroom and fields will nurture both my theoretical and practical skills.

The course at the University of Sydney offers me with a palette of choices from environmental science to finance, from law to urban planning, and from sustainable building design to public health. This will enable me to choose my career objective more precisely after gaining the primary knowledge of sustainability.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Apr 29, 2017   #2
Bushra, try to balance the discussion of your statement. Offer no more than one paragraph to the background of your city and the problem that you feel it needs to resolve. At the moment, the concentration is on the background, which did not allow you to properly discuss the criteria for your choice of universities. While I understand your concerns regarding your city, it should not be discussed in minute detail in this essay because the essay only asks for the reasons why you chose to study specific courses at these universities. You need to specify the courses you decided to take and explain how these relate to creating a better foundation for your career in urban planning and design. At the moment, the reviewer has no idea what courses you want to be considered for admission to and how it clearly relates to your current skills or lack of skills. Address those problem points and your essay should be set to use.


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