University Scholarship Cancellation Appeal Letter

17 May 2017

Office of University Scholarships
Auburn University
115 Quad Center
Auburn, AL 36849-5145

Dear Financial Aid Appeals Committee:

//plagiarized from https://essayforum.com/scholarship/appeal-gpa-far-needed-40126//

When I first began Auburn, I learned very quickly that it would not be as easy as high school. During my first semester, I faced many challenges both in and out of academics. Within academics, I struggled to balance my time effectively and retain information well. Outside of classes, I dealt with (and still deal with today) taking care of my grandparents. When I was sixteen, I "moved out" of my house and began to live with my grandparents. I lived with my father but we never seemed to get along. Just before I started college I learned that he had saved up nearly $20,000 for me for college. He took this money and, instead of allowing me to use it, used it for a new bathroom and some of my sister's tuition. This meant that my grandparents were forced to pay for all of my college expenses. Soon after learning this, my grandparents lost the majority of their business due to a new company buying out the old company that contracted to them. This meant that the only money they would be receiving is the little that they get from the business and their social security checks. This put a lot of stress on me to keep this scholarship, so when I came out of Fall with a 3.26 GPA I was relieved.

I began the Spring 2017 semester with the goal to achieve better than I did before, but in February I learned that my brother had attempted suicide. A mere week later I learned that my girlfriend of nearly three years had been cheating on me. These events had sunken me into a sort of depression for a while. I stopped going to classes and I stopped doing homework. These made my grades suffer and thus, dropped my GPA below what was needed. By the time I had recovered, it was too late to make any changes to improve my GPA.

In order to raise my GPA in the future semesters, I plan to use better study habits and also get an on-campus parking spot so it is more convenient for me to travel to campus for tutoring and studying during campus hours. This summer I am taking three courses as well that will boost my GPA back above the 3.0 threshold before the Fall 2017 semester begins.

//plagiarized

Sincerely,
[Redacted]

Anthony, there is too much information in this essay and all of it, does not require the scholarship committee to care about your situation. You had the scholarship, you lost the scholarship. Their decision is final. The way that you discussed the matters of a personal nature in the essay doesn't help your case. It only shows how trivial your reasons for failing were, when you already had the scholarship and merely had to keep it. They don't care if your dad got a new bathroom and paid for your sisters expenses, or your grandparents not being able to support you. After all, you were able to keep your scholarship at this time when you were truly faced with matters that could have lost you the scholarship. Your girlfriend cheating on you and your brother's suicide attempt is so trivial when compared to the previous situation. So why were you affected in such a profound manner?

The fact of the matter is, you did not value your scholarship when you had it and you did not offer any information regarding changes in your set up that will prove you will be able to retain your scholarship in the future. Merely taking additional classes does not prove your grades will improve next semester. You need to prove marked changes in your situation as of the present in order to make them reconsider. Explanations such as getting a part time job so that you won't have to depend on your father or grandparents for support, and distancing from your family and their drama so that your studies will not be affected. Show that you now have a strong personality and will no longer be sidelined by such family and personal life matters. Right now, this essay does not make a good plea for the reinstatement of your scholarship. It is weak and doesn't offer a sense of improvement on your part in all aspects that might affect your scholarship should it be reinstated in the future.

@ Holt what portions do you think I should remove?