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Are You Really Can Change Yourself? - KGSP Self Introduction


SeilaKey 2 / 5 1  
Sep 20, 2017   #1
Heloo it's me again!
I tried to make corrections about my self introduction for applying KGSP.
I'll very grateful if you guys gladly help me to read thread and give me your advise. :)


No one can change you before you chage yourself.


I grew up in ordinary middle class family. As the oldest child, I have always felt the duty to be responsible for my family since that is how I was raised. Both of my parents were not educational practitioners, my father is a businessman and so is my mother. They really attach importance of education and never forced me to do what I had to do, instead they told me that what I am doing now will affect what will happen to my future and no one can change me before I change myself. This view makes me always do the best of my effort if I want to get the best future and never regret in every path that I have chosen.

I had a bad life school-aged experience when I got the lowest mathematics examination's score of my class in elementary school. I like mathematics, but I really knew that I lacked of learning. I studied hard to make my score better and did mathematics exercise more than before. I believe that I can change my score as long as I never stop learning. Surprisingly I've got excellent score and be number one rank in my class. Since then, I like to solve mathematics problems and like to help my friends that have difficulties with mathematics problems. That is the reason why I got attracted to mathematics and led me to be how I am now with this special career that I am proud of.

The fact that Education is not only the learning of facts but also the training of the mind to think led me want to be one of professional in education who influences people's way of thinking. So that I decided to start my study at University of Bengkulu in 2012 majoring Mathematics Education and got full scholarship from Indonesian Government. My first year was pretty hard because I have difficulties to adapt college-life specially in doing some difficult courses such as Kalkulus and System Geometry but I didn't even think about giving up. During those years, I was able to improve my academic skill in Algebra, Geometry, Statistics, Teaching Theory and developed my teaching practical skill such as designing teaching materials and evaluating teaching process. I was seriously doing my college that was showed in my great GPA score. I got ninety five percent excellent grade and trusted to be a Lecture's assistant in Calculus and Learning Method subjects in my second year. Not only in academic ways, I also joined and involved in many social and charity activities of several organizations. I and my friends who have same visions taught children in a small village in our province without salary and gave them some Mathematics Learning Media for free. It makes me grateful because I was given a great chance to continue my study to University when people out there have trouble even looking for food. I have been working as a Mathematics Tutor in Gama Sains and private teacher for 3 years. It makes me more capable of either theory or practice as a teacher and enough to continue my study in Master degree.

Education is an increasingly dynamic and demanding sector that requires highly qualified professionals and practitioners to meet challenges especially in developing countries like Indonesia. For being that professionals and practitioners, we really know that so many things we must know and capable of. Education itself has so many sectors, one of its sectors is Curriculum and Instruction. My knowledge that I got from college and curriculum issues in Indonesia develop my interest to study this sector of education. This sector has a big impact on education system, so that if I learn about it I will have a chance to give a big impact too in education, either as professional teacher or professional researcher of education. Korea has gotten a huge perception shift in my mind and the minds of people all over the world. Right now, the world is marveling at the emergence and success of Korea which is in largely not only because of its media and entertainment industry but also because of its quality of education. In Korea postgraduate education education is internationally recognized for both teachers and practitioners of researcher. Post-graduate for the Faculty of Education in Korea has specialized research programs, distinguished faculty such as curriculum and instruction faculty that focus on curriculum and teaching curriculum research. So that, I really know that studying this sector of education in Korea is my necessary. To study abroad, I realize that I must know everything about my destination country, then I seriously effort by learning about Korean language and cultures in Korean Cultural Center Indonesia (KCCI) in Jakarta and scheduled to get TOPIK Test before going to Korea.

After I decided to try to continue my master degree in Korea, I also tried to find the scholarship that could link my background study with my purpose to study in Korea. I thankfully found Graduate Korean Government Scholarship Program (KGSP-G). I am not looking for scholarship that only provides tuition fee and life cost but the scholarship that provides great programs in many aspects such academic aspect, social and charity aspect, Korean language, Korean historical and cultural aspect. Therefore I will not have experienced in academics aspect only, but also chances to learn out of my comfort zone. I have read about KGSP guideline and very excited about its program. Before getting to college, I will learn about Korean language in other university that I have chosen and I have known that KGSP also engages guarantees visit Korean historic place such as palace, cultural center,etc. It was an amazing scholarship program that I have ever known. I can imagine how grateful and blessed I am if I get chance to study in Korean and helped by KGSP to explore my knowledge beyond my major of study. I can not wait about it
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Sep 20, 2017   #2
Seila, the second paragraph in relation to your early education is irrelevant. The reviewer is not looking for the negative in your educational background. He will be looking for the positive in your academic accomplishments. It would be better if you gave a general discussion of your early education, focusing on your college studies and accomplishments (awards and recognition) instead because these should tie in directly with your professional experience and lead to the motivation behind your interest in this masters degree. The college education is the foundation for the whole educational portion and motivation portion of the essay.

Your essay is very weak when it comes to explaining your motivation to study in Korea. There needs to be a sense of personal interest / adventure / learning that led you to decide that you want to spend at least 3 years of your life in the country, learning a new language first , and then adjusting to the lifestyle in the country, second. There is no sense of that in your essay which makes it weak because you only refer to the generic terms of interest. In fact, what is very clear from your essay is that if you did not discover this scholarship program, you would not have had any interest in Korea and its educational system at all. That weakens your essay to the point where it may not be considered as a strong contender for the scholarship slot.

What you need to do is focus on how the Korean masters degree will set you apart from the other applicants and why you feel that you can only get the kind of masters degree training that you desire in Korea. Why study in Korea when your own country offers the same masters education at some universities? What makes you so sure that the Korean education and a life in Korea is the perfect fit for your educational and personal life at this point?

The essay is rather dull because of the lack of personal connection in the narrative. You should try and improve on those aspects with your next version. Unfortunately, if your next version is too similar to this current version, I will not be able to offer another review for that version. So let me wish you the best with your application. I know that the revisions I am suggesting will produce a much more applicable essay for your application.
OP SeilaKey 2 / 5 1  
Sep 21, 2017   #3
Thank You so much :) I'll do my best


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