Hello Everyone! I hope you all are in a great mood today wherever you are! I just finished writing my "Personal Statement" to submit for getting Ph.D. scholarship, but I'm not sure if I've included all the important matters needed...plus, I have to reduce 2 paragraphs to put it in a single page but I could not reduce it more... further, It doesn't seem very impressive to me. I need your help. That's why I found this website and I thought maybe you could help me. I need to get this scholarship so I want to make them pick me as the one and only one. Thank you in advance.
o Motivations with which you apply for this program
o Your education and work experience in relation to the KGSP
o Reason for studying in Korea
o Any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion for graduate study or research.
KGSP "Personal Statement"
Deep down in your heart if you know what you really want, you will never find yourself at crossroads in this journey of life. Till this current day I have always knew what satisfies me and I followed it to be accomplished. I am the first-born of a family of four. My family have always shared their interest and care in education. My father is a holder of Ph.D. in "Middle Asia and Caucasus Studies", and B.A and M.A in "Social Sciences"; he works for Provincial Government, and my little sister studies " law" in university. My mother is a housewife without whom, this family would never have attained such academic goals as it sought to attain.
When I was 8, there was nothing I liked to do more than writing short stories and making little illustrations to go with them. This was the result of inspiration I would receive from my mother reading me stories. Since then writing has been a getaway and a way for expressing my feelings that led me write seriously at 18. I have already written 3 short stories in Farsi that won other competitors' works and received provincial prizes.
I started learning English at the age of 10. I loved reading both Persian and English books, but my most favorite ones among them were definitely Harry Potter Series that made me cover all those overwhelming English pages as a 13-year-old kid. I had this habit to compare both texts to find whether I missed a censured part in the Persian translation, and as soon as I found a line or sometimes a whole paragraph I would write it down. Censorship usually happens in Iran due to different reasons including not being allied with Islamic or political rules. Later when I started studying English Translation at university I found I was actually doing comparative analysis!
I have studied experimental science for 3 years in the most prominent high school of my hometown, Arak which only high qualified students are allowed to enroll.
I already was fluent in English at the age of 18, but I always knew I want to be a translator and a writer, that is the reason why I decided to study English translation academically for my B.A. During the second semester my Interpretation professor asked me to teach English in his Language Institute due to my fluency, which made me the youngest teacher in the whole city. Moreover, I passed 4 phases of a difficult national exam for teaching candidates of "Iran Language Institute" which is the highest qualified and well known through the whole country with several branches in each city of Iran. They only got 12 teachers thoroughly in 2014, including me, and I have been teaching there to the current time. I also have been a freelance translator of different works such as medical, political, agricultural, plant pathology related text, literary works, etc. from English into Persian and vice versa since 2008.
From the beginning years of elementary school to the day I was graduated in M.A Translation Studies I received prizes and letters of appreciation from Makazi Province General Governors for my high grades and researches I have done as a pre- eminent student. I finished my B.A program a year earlier within 3 years. My Socio-Semiotic paper ranked the first place in a "National Conference on Translation Studies " in 2015, in which I was one of the key presenters who gave her speech on her paper before 700 attendees/ audiences. In addition, another paper of mine was selected to be published in Shahid Chamran University Translation and Discourse magazine in 2017, which is a high ranked national university in Iran
I started my Korean self-studying in 2008, and after a sets of tests and interviews I got accepted in Korean Sejong School level 5 out of 8 levels in 2017. The only problem was the 8-hour distance of commuting by bus from Arak to Tehran, but I eagerly wanted to be taught by a native teacher. During this time, I self- studied and got a TOPIK 4 band within 2 months.
As a translator I want to translate Korean as well as English and become a multilingual translator who translates different works into each other. The reason why is that Korea is mostly represented by its K-wave rather than its sophisticated literature, while other oriental literary works including Japanese and Chinese ones are already known to the world. Furthermore, there are not any Korean- Persian or vice versa translators and even other oriental works are translated through the filter of English, not the direct source language itself. More than that, there might be some amateurs who translate, but they have never learned the science and art of translation academically which is a vast field embracing different areas. Thus I am going to kill two birds with one stone, that is achieving my doctoral degree along researching on comparing and contrasting Korean and Persian linguistically and translating practically to promote Korean literature widely through English and Farsi translation and enrich the libraries with scientific and literary works needed by scholars and students who study Persian as well. Over and above I don't consider any field more important than Translation, for each and every other fields of science, art, etc. is dependent on the mode of translation to be spread around nations.
I found "Baek Heena's" children works incredibly interesting and educating that made me take my step bravely in this realm and translate "알사탕" and "달샤배트" from Korean into Persian and English directly. It is worth mentioning that these two works have not been translated into English nor Persian before. Translating these works and the exciting challenges it required; culturally and linguistically, were my incentive to put myself in a global environment to compete my rivals and peers academically to be as matured and experienced as a pioneer in this area who paves the way for other adherents. Additionally, I've been inspired by Korean poetry and have written some poems in Korean.
Yet I am not sure if this 10-year-old dream has become a part of me or It's me who has become a part of it, however I am sure about one thing, and that is the roots of this dream turned into a trunk which is waiting for the branches to grow out and soon result in fruits.Hi @Shinbi Jung13
Honestly, your essay is too confusing.
When I read the first para, I don't get what the main reason you apply for the certain program.
Please be aware that there are so many essays that must be reviewed by the reviewer. So, you have to attract them from the first para.
Just try to answer each question without being too flowery.
For instance :
- Motivations with which you apply for this program
>> I decided to apply for program xxx due to xxx
- Your education and work experience in relation to the KGSP
>> During my professional experience, I have xxxx so that it has connection with program that I applied.
- Reason for studying in Korea
>> In order to achieve my future goal, I believe Korea is the best option due to xxx
- Any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion for graduate study or research
>> I have won Makazi Province General Governors
You may elaborate more according to your own story.
Gud luck.
@SSAGitz Thank you so much . That was a great help. I am restructuring it.
Merged:
My "Personal Statement" for Government Scholarship/ Edited
Hello everyone. I hope you all are great. please take a look at my personal statement and let me know if it covers all the acquired fields mentioned. also, I need to cut it down about two paragraphs in a way that important points are still kept. Thank you in advance.
o Motivations with which you apply for this program
o Your education and work experience in relation to the KGSP
o Reason for studying in Korea
o Any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion for graduate study or research.
An enthusiastic student of language and literature, I was born to a family in which my parents have always been supportive of my education to the fullest. My father is a holder of PhD and my mother instilled a love for literature in me by constantly reading interesting stories to me from when I was very small. Thanks to this upbringing, I was already writing stories and making little illustrations to go with them by the time I was eight. Writing became a way to channel my feelings and creative energy, and I started to write more seriously by eighteen, eventually receiving awards at regional writing competitions.
My very first encounter with anything Korean started with a little emblem showing a cute Korean couple in traditional wedding clothes. It was on the keychain my father gave me when I was sixteen, and had an inscription of the words 믿음, 소망, 사랑. When asked my father for an explanation on the emblem, he asked me to search for it myself. That search led me to find out about Korea's traditions; "Hanbok" and "Pansori" which I was soon drawn to as this style of music conveys sorrow and joy at the same time. That's why when Park Aeri visited Iran in summer 2017, I was honored to be one of the members of Sejong School Cultural Academy, who was lucky to visit her at Korean ambassador's house. I consider this event as destiny.
I was always fascinated by K-culture, literature and language and its linguistic and cultural similarities to that of Iran. Thus, I started teaching myself Korean in 2008, and after a series of tests and interviews, I got accepted into Korean Sejong School. The only problem was the 8-hour distance of commuting by bus from Arak to Tehran, but I eagerly sought to be taught by a native teacher.
I decided to apply for KGSP due to the enthusiasm I have for Korea's culture, tradition, literature, poetry, and traditional music, Pansori. I was able to visit my dream country in the summer 2017, thanks to the money I have saved through ten years of working. One of my biggest reasons for this trip was to ensure that Korea is my right choice, and I absolutely fell for it more than ever, because I experienced Hanshik, Hanbok, traditional instruments and Jeju Island in person and was able to use my Korean abilities easily to communicate with people. I also visited my dream universities HUFS and Korea University, which made me try harder throughout last year to achieve my goal that led me to self-study and get my TOPIK 4 band within two months. These universities are my first and foremost choices, firstly, because HUFS has Translation Studies field and secondly, Korea University has Semiotics in linguistics major which are my most favorite.
I studied experimental science at a prestigious high school in my hometown Arak, but I chose to study English and translation in university, because I knew that was my passion. I went on to excel in it, taking a temporary student-teacher position for English instruction and passing the rigorous screening to join the Iran Language Institute, which is one of the most renowned institutions of its kind.
From the early years of elementary school to college graduation with M.A. in Translation Studies, I received awards and letters of appreciation from General Governors of Makazi Province for my high grades and researches I have done as a pre-eminent student. I finished my B.A program one year sooner than the scheduled four years. My Socio-Semiotic paper ranked in the first place at the National Conference on Translation Studies in 2015, in which I was one of the key presenters who gave a speech based on my paper before an audience of 700 attendees. In addition, another paper of mine was selected in 2017 for publication in Shahid Chamran University Translation and Discourse magazine, which is one of the prestigious national universities in Iran.
Starting my English education at ten, I was drawn to this first foreign language early on. I devoured the Harry Potter series as a thirteen-year-old, and later got into the habit of comparing English texts with their Farsi translations to spot missed contents owing to censorship and other reasons, which I now realize was my own way of doing comparative analysis.
I believe Korea is the best place for me to study Translation Studies or Applied Linguistics, because it provides exposure to every aspect of life, which is in direct connection with the program I applied for. It also combines unique linguistic features, culture, and literature which provide excellent training for a translator. Korea's importance in politics and economics has been increasing, and Iran has always been the center of attention for political reasons. Additionally, it has always been favored by many around the world for its culture and literature, especially its poetry (both classical and modern). Many Korean students of Persian Literature are interested in Farsi literature and language. However, they feel that there is a lack of Persian sources translated into Korean. Moreover, the world is not as familiar with Korean literature as they are with Japanese and Chinese literature! I am personally a fan of Yoon Dong Joo, Ahn Do Hyun and many other Korean poets and was so inspired by them that I wrote some short Korean poems. In addition, Korean children's works are morally and educationally perfect like Baek Heena's works, which I really admire. I already have translated "알사탕" and "달샤배트" from Korean into English and Farsi directly from Korean that are waiting to be published soon. Therefore, I have made a decision many years ago to be a bridge to connect different cultures via literature in an effort to allow each country to have better insights into the other. I started by working to become proficient in many languages. I have been able to teach myself a basic level of Japanese and French and am able to speak English (which is the world language), Korean (which is one of East Asian languages), and Farsi (which is my mother tongue). I hope to continue this journey by studying in Korea.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 Fateme, your family background has no bearing in this application. Even as a revised essay, it is still weak and not totally applicable to the prompt questions and expected responses. You have to remember that you are applying for a PhD in this instance so the total focus of this essay must be on the method by which you applied your masters studies to the advancement of your profession and why you believe that at this point in your career, you require a PhD level education to go further in the profession. The motivation must be related to your profession. The interests, must be a spin off from your masters degree course, and the interest in Hangeul must stem from your work related experiences. It cannot be a narrative of your biography. That makes it irrelevant to the application and will ensure that the reviewer disregards your application immediately.
Thank you so much for your advice. I cut a lot of parts and connected it to my translation experiences.
