The Internet has transformed lives and economies but it turning the world into a global village. Soon everybody will think and behave in the same way.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Please help me to have a better essay รก well as better writing. Many thanks to all!
The Internet has such an important role that no one could deny. It brings great changes in lives and economies all over the world and connects people, makes them get closer as all are living in a global village. However, I personally think that the Internet still cannot make every one think and behave the same.
First of all, the invention of the Internet does much help to bring a better world to most of people. Just with a computer connected to the Internet, people can connect with many other people from many other places, even areas which are far distant from them. As a result of this, people all around the world can easily share things in life such as hobbies, lifestyles, cultures ... and the more important thing is that they can update the technologies and support one another in order to make a better world. With the Internet, distance is no longer a barrier to the communication among different nations, they seems to live in a global village.
However, it is not likely that in the soon time, everybody will think and act in the same way. In the more developed society, people have the trend to express themselves more strongly which could some how make them outstanding among the others. And the Internet in this case has no related effects to make people act in the same way. May be, in the further future, when the Global village as mentioned above developed to a very higher level (when every one in this society are all satisfied with their life) then, people might behave in the same way.
In a nutshell, Internet has changed the world. It connects people all around the world, makes them closer, and gives them the easier chance to support the weaker. However, in the soon time, it is not likely to make every one think and act the same.
Note: "soon" is an adverb, not an adjective. Therefore, I think "soon time" is not a right word.
By the way, I think your writing is very good, despite some errors.
Many thanks to you, Annika Liana!
I just feel a so much better essay after your correcting. Thank you again, it really helps me! I will take notes for my latter essays :)
Yes, those are great corrections, Anikka!
Also, "everyone" is one word the way you use it in that first paragraph. Make it one word instead of two.
However, it is not likely that will soon think and act in the same way.---I made a small change here for clarity.
Paragraph topic sentences:
Try to organize your essay like this: The first sentence of every paragraph gives an idea that helps to explain the main idea of the essay. The first sentence of every paragraph can give an idea to support the argument: The Internet will not make everyone think the same way.
However, the way you wrote it is great! I just wanted to give you a good idea about PARAGRAPH TOPIC SENTENCES.
Thank you Kevin, just a question. So far, I do not know that we cannot use "in the soon time" which I often use this in my writing letter. Could your give me more clarity!
Oh, I think my brain played a trick on me, and I thought it was okay, but... it is not correct.
However, it is not likely that in the soon time, everybody will think and act in the same way.
You can do this:
However, it is not likely that everybody will soon think and act in the same way.
or
However, it is not likely that in the near future everybody will think and act in the same way.
Many thanks Kevin, from now on, i will try to avoid "in the soon time" which has become my habit :)
Excellent, it sounds funny to say that!
Some people say, "Let's meet here at eight o'clock. In the meantime, I will be working."
They say "meantime" to mean "between now and then."
But in the soon time does not mean anything! :-D
Correct: In the near future, we will act the same way.
Correct: Soon, we will act the same way.
