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TOEFL essay - Cars enslave us rather than liberate us?


nguyendinhtuong 4 / 14 9  
Oct 9, 2011   #1
Hello everyone! Please check this essay for my. I fully appreciate any help of yours.

Topic: Cars enslave us rather than liberate us? Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Cars have been in use since the year 1870. Since then the number of cars on the roads has increased many times over. Cars now seem to have made our live easier and more convenient. Nevertheless, in my opinion, more cars give us much more problems than their benefits.

First of all, people must work much harder in order to afford a car. This also means that they have to earn a considerable amount of money. The prices of new cars are so high that they usually need to take a credit to buy one. Moreover, cars are not only expensive to buy, but also cost very much to run. In fact, the gas price gets higher and the cost of maintain is overpriced. Therefore, one has to work overtime if he or she wants to have a car and keep their car still useful. In other hand, if someone brakes his car, he has to pay more money for prepare than its worth.

Second, the quality of our life is made worse because of cars. There are many traffic jams every day and the number of accidents is on the increase. Consequently, people almost are getting more stress when they drive on street and feel risky every time. In addition, the toxic gases that cars eliminate pollute the air we breathe and this seems to threaten our lives every day. To make the matter worse, the main reason that develops the number of lung cancer is the air pollution. There are many people who die from lung cancer every year. As an example, I have seen a relative who always drove in the street and breathed a great deal of dirty air. He in turn became cancerous and his families get into troubles since that. Unfortunately, not long after that he died.

Some people argue that cars give us many benefits. Cars enable us to go to places and they are very helpful in transportation. What is more, you can go to any place you want, no matter what time of day is and if there is any public transport to there or not. In contract, people who own cars are worried about their cars being stolen or damaged. In order to cope with this problem, they have to install expensive alarm systems. Furthermore, car-owners have to avoid areas of the city where cars get broken into or stolen. In other words, they always have to find the safest places for their cars and this prevents them going to their favorite places. Cars really cost them very much time to pay their attention just in order to keep the car always new and safe. In my opinion, people are dependent on car so much. In fact, the costs of time, attention and money that they have to pay are more overpriced than the worth of any cars.

In conclusion, cars have many advantages but enslave us even more. Cars take us much affordability, threaten our life and worry us about making the car safe. From my point of view, I think we should do something to manage these problems so we can gradually liberate us from the cars and definitely enjoy the benefits which cars have brought to us.
argentum 3 / 9  
Oct 9, 2011   #2
the cost of maintain ---> the cost of maintenance
In other hand ---> on the other hand
if someone brakes his car, he has to pay more money for prepare than its worth ---> if someone break his car, he has to pay more money than its worth for that.

the quality of our life is made worse ---> the quality of our lives has worsened
the number of accidents is on the increase ---> the number of accidents is increasing
people almost are getting more stress when they drive on street ---> people almost get more stress as they drive on street
develops the number of lung cancer ---> increases the number of lung cancer

the benefits which cars have brought to us ---> the benefits that cars have brought to us
In contract ---> on the contrary
OP nguyendinhtuong 4 / 14 9  
Oct 9, 2011   #3
Thank you so much for checking my grammatical errors. I've learned a lot from that.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Oct 10, 2011   #4
Cars now seem to have made our livelife easier and more convenient. Nevertheless, in my opinion, more cars give us create much more problems than their benefitsthey benefit us .

The prices of new cars are so high that they usually need to take a credit to buy onerequire a person to buy them on credit . Moreover, cars are not only expensive to buy, but also cost very much to runinvolve high maintainance costs .


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