limit 250 words, this is 245. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Hanging upside down from a slim metallic cable fifty feet above safety, I had begun to give up hope. "This is the third time you've almost lost it," I told myself. Looking around at the treetops that made up my surroundings, I paused for a second and admitted that this was a lot harder than I had imagined it to be. Suddenly from far below came a word of motivation - "You got this Logan!" I recognized this as the unmistakable voice of my classmate Jamey, who had accompanied me and fourteen other engineering students on this fieldtrip. Taking a deep breath, I recalled how I had fixed my dilemma just a minute ago. Making sure my feet were centered on the first cable and strengthening the grip I had on the second, I forced my lower body earthwards and levered my torso towards the sky above. Miraculously, I was right-side-up before I knew it, and allowed a sigh of relief as I felt the blood rush back out of my head. It was great to be on top of things again, yet a challenge still awaited me. Looking to my left, beyond where my flimsy metallic path ended, I spotted the end of my odyssey; a single rope hanging innocently out of range. But no, I had come too far for "out of range." Without a second thought I let go of everything I had, lunged towards my objective, and secured myself as the victor.
It is quite vivid. But I think you can make your main point more clear and conspicuous.
Besides that, you can demonstrate more details that reflect your understanding instead of directly describe your feelings. Keep the language simple and straight.
