Most people think that young people enjoy life more than older people. However, I believe it is not true. Personally, for a couple of reason, the elders enjoy more. I feel this, because the people older have more free time, money and more experience.
In my view, the elders have more time to do what they want. They generally are resign or don't have to work so much than the youngers. Thus they don't have many responsibilities and don't have a so busy schedule to carry out. On the other hand, the teenagers and adults have to study, work, take care of their children, etc. For instance, I would like travel in the next summer, but I have to do some classes to graduate on time.
A second reason for me believe that older people enjoy more is that they have more money. They could save up some money during this life. In addition, their expenses aren't so bigger longer, because in most of the cases, the aging live alone or with the wife/husband. The son/daughter usually goes live by her/himself. For have more money the older might for example travel more.
Finally, I think that for the elders have more experience, they know how enjoy their lives better. I meant is, they know what is good and bad. For example, many young people think that get drunk is a good way to have fun. The older people, for everything that they lived, they know that when we get drunk we may do a lot of stupid things. As a result, the elders do other things to have fun.
To sum up, I disagree with the statement of young people enjoy more than older. The older people, in my opinion have more time to have fun, more money to spend and more knowledge about is funny or not.
My reccomendation, In order to improve any new essay you make, is to look for which words you keep repiting. In this case, you keep repeating "people", you can try to avoud it or replace it. You also need to look for this kind of mistakes: so much than the youngers. In this case, you need to specify who are you talking about in this line, it would be something like so much than the younger ones , here you could also use "as ---- as", so you can put: the older people dont have to work as much as the younger people.
By using this previous tips, you can be more specific so the reader can understand what you mean. The key to get a high writing score in the TOEFL is to explain as good as you can explain you opinion. Be specific, and you should do fine in the exam.
I know how the TOEFL works, since I dont speak english natively as well. I got a 27 of 30 points in the iBT in writing, and I followed this same tips so you should do better if you follow these tips.
Hope it helped!
