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IELTS: Emigration intentions, Bulgarian aged 15-60, 2001 & 2006


SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Mar 28, 2014   #1
The chart shows the proportion in emigration intention of Bulgarian aged 15-60 in 2001 and 2006.

It is clear that the proportion of Bulgarian who intends to stay in their country is far higher among the other intentions.

In 2001, by 70 percent Bulgarians have no intention to travel abroad then this trend increased over 3 percent in the following year statistic. An intention for tourism came as the second by 10 percent, while living and working abroad for temporary reached the proportion by 5 and 7 percent of all Bulgarians choice.

In 2006, the highest proportion of emigration intention was recorded by 70 percent of Bulgarians aged 15-60. Although 9 percent Bulgarians intended to live abroad for temporary, the other intentions for tourism and temporary work came nearly 9 percent.

Interestingly, while other emigration intentions varied markedly, the intention for live abroad was permanently showed the equality by 8 percent in a-two year statistics.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Mar 28, 2014   #2
Hey... where is the chart? Forgot again? ....lol

It is clear that the proportion of Bulgarian who intends to stay in their country is far higher among the other intentions.

Overall, the majority Bulgarians intend to stay in their home country.

In 2001, by 70 percent of Bulgarians havehad no intention to travel abroad.then thisThis trend increased overby 3 percent in the following year statistic. An intention for tourism came as the second by 10 percent, while living and working abroad for temporary purposes reached the proportion by 5 and 7 percent of all Bulgarians choice. ????????
OP SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Mar 28, 2014   #3
oh my god ! T.T



eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 28, 2014   #4
In 2001, by 70 percent Bulgarians have(use past tense) no intention toof traveling abroad then(stop here)this trend increasedThe figures showed significant percentage increases over 3 percent in the following year statistic . An intention for tourism came as the second by 10 percent, while living and working abroad for temporary reached the proportion by 5 and 7 percent ofofferingall Bulgariansa wide choice of emigration .

while the figures quoted in relation to rates of other emigration intentions varied markedly

Suggestion: Read as many IELTS writings as you can to improve your writing skills. This help you find some ideas and improve your vocabulary and grammar.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 28, 2014   #5
In 2006, the highest proportion of emigration intention was recorded byas no intention of leaving Bulgaria which was 70 percent of totalBulgarians Bulgarian population aged 15-60. Although 9 percent Bulgarians intended to live abroad for temporarytemporarily for short time , the other intentions for tourism and temporary work came nearly 9 percent.fell short of 9 percent.

Interestingly, while other emigration intentions varied markedly, the intention for live abroad was permanently showed the equality by 8 percent in a-two year statistics.

this sounds pretty confusing :(
OP SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Mar 30, 2014   #6
I hope I made a betterment

The chart shows the proportion in emigration intention of Bulgarian aged 15-60 in 2001 and 2006.

Overall, the majority Bulgarians intend to stay in their home country,

Turning to the details, the number of Bulgarians who had no intention to travel abroad increased steadily from just under 70 percent to around 73 percent between 2001 and 2006, a rise of about 3 percent in the 5 year. Also, living abroad for temporary experienced a rise of about from 5 percent in 2001 to 9 percent in 2006. Both figures showed upward proportions among the other trends.

Standing in contrast, going overseas for tourism and temporary work during a period year showed a decline. Appearing with 10 percent in 2001, Bulgarian inhabitants were less likely to take vacation abroad by 6 percent in 2006 while working abroad for temporary reported 3 percent decent among Bulgarian emigrations.

Interestingly, while other emigration intentions varied markedly in over 5 years, there was an equal proportion by 8 percent of Bulgarians who tend to live abroad permanently.




MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Mar 30, 2014   #7
The chart showscompares the proportion in of emigration intentions of Bulgarian people aged 15-60 in 2001 and 2006.

a rise of about 3 percent in the 5 year.

This part could be omitted.

for temporary

temporarily/for a short time

experienced a rise of about 4 percent, from 5 percent in 2001 to 9 percent in 2006
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 30, 2014   #8
majority Bulgarians

proportions among the other trends

I am in google now, and I have this for you:
Majority normally means more than 50%. Few and many are normally used with numbers rather than percentages: a small percentages of people could still refer to a large number of (many) people. 'Many' and 'few' are difficult to define because it depends on the context, but in general they refers to

large and small number respectively.

IELTS grammar: number and proportion
Number:
- Use 'the number of + plural noun' e.g. the number of visitors.
- Do not use it describe percentages of uncontable nouns e.g money

Proportion:
- Only use this to describe percentages (not numbers).
- Use 'the proportion of + plural noun' e.g the proportion of people


Hope this helps :D
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Apr 12, 2014   #9
A few words for the layout of the paragraph:
Developing the classical five paragraph essay or more will send you to earn a very impressive result, but this should be followed by a succinct explanation, coherent sentences, grammar error-free, colloquial usage, etc. Otherwise, you may get an average score.


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