IELTS: I highly recommend authorities to raise the age to leave school to 18

People have different views about whether people should study until they turn 18 or not. Personally, I totally agree with this idea.

To begin with, the educational policy that does not allow students to leave school until 18 can bring some economic benefits. Firstly, this can help the government combat rising youth unemployment rate. To take the UK, for example, early school leavers often find it difficult to get a job due to their lack of basic knowledge and practical skills needed in the workplace. Fortunately, these skills can be further improved and well-equipped in the school based environment. Secondly, high school compulsory education may contribute to producing high quality and efficient workforce. If there is an increase in the number of applicants in universities, there will be more chances to select and provide training for gifted students.

Lengthening school-leaving age until 18 can play a vital role in developing society in many aspects. One is that students who are less economically favored can have the same chance as their qualified peers to continue their studies. This can be a good indicator of a fair community. Additionally, a noticeable purpose of the classroom environment is to teach young people moral values such as tolerance and sharing. Once the students' personalities are shaped in this way, they can become useful members of society. Also, leaving school at 18 can help reduce juvenile delinquency rates. Lacking appropriate education might make them participate in gangs and commit property or violent crimes.

For the reasons mentioned above, I highly recommend authorities to raise the age to leave school to 18 to foster socioeconomic development.

you essay is goo and well written..
if you can give a introduction paragraph , it would be perfect!

This is good essay, i will rate it like band 7 or 7.5 at least , if im not wrong you have some minor mistakes above, your 3rd and 4th paragraphs are so great although the 1st and 2nd paragraphs' ideas confused me a little, one more thing, you use "can" too many times, you can write " likely to, possibly, probably..." instaed , there are so many better alternatives, dont you think so? pleasure to help you :D

Hi, thank so much for your corrections. but, there are some points I can not agree on.
" the question"=> not necessary
combat rising youth unemployment rate, "rising" here is used as an adjective to modify " youth employment rate" . Your suggestion of using " reduce" is correct, but the way I used phrase like "combat rising youth unemployment rate" is not wrong at all :)

+contribute to producing... The word " Producing" in this context is used as a noun-gerund, it is right because there is a structure " contribute to + N, not verb".

+/ " an increase in the number of sth" is a right structure
I follow simon's advice on writing essay, and this is the very first essay of mine. once again, thank you so much, I will correct your essay in return.

p/s: to be honest, I used to expect this essay to get band 8 =))), but 7.5 is not a bad band score for the first essay, right :)))

yeah maybe im wrong in some points :D, however, i often write : "s.th has a great contribution to s.th" or "contribute to THE ...." or " contribute to/so as to/in order to + V " they are all accurate, so in this case, i recommend you to write "contribute to the production of high quality and efficient workforce", dont u think so???

wow your writing skill must be super good to reach this level 'cause as you said, this is your very first essay. yeah this can be definitely rated 8 if there are less mistakes. i dont know why most of band 8 and 9 essays have very simple ideas and they are easily understandible as well, unlike essays written by vietnamese, complicated structures, complex and long sentences, academic words and monumental ideas =))))))))))))))))

I have an admin request - It is good if you include your prompt in the post for us to get a better understanding about it and help you write an essay that fulfills its requirements. That helps you earn more meaningful feedbacks from others too :)

To takeTake the UK, for example. (stop here) earlyEarly school leavers often find it difficult to get a job due to their lack of basic knowledge and practical skills needed in the workplace.by the job.

contribute to high quality or contribute in producing high quality


I always suggest others to have a specific example, by asking journalistic questions: how many? who? what? when? results?

After you Log on to EF, Remember, you are asked to complete the full prompt with your essay.