Before I begin, I have a question. What is the essay supposed to be about? Is it about an experience of your first job? Is it for a TOEFL or IELTS test or what? I will assume here that this is for another job interview or like a university admission essay.
Yes, this is a very important thing.... you should tell us why and for what purpose you wrote this for us to understand the background and give you some meaningful feedbacks.
Here is some advice on grammar;
I will grabbed all the things that I need and take them with me in the bathroom so I can get ready for work.
I grabbed - past tense
I was grabbing - past continuous
I grab - present tense
I am grabbing - present continuous
I will grab - future
I will be grabbing - future continuous
Don't have the tenses mixed up in a sentence.