Writing Task 1- process of chocolate-making and the percentage of allocation the cost

The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process.

Summaries the information by choosing and reporting the key features, and make any relevant comparisons.

The diagrams depict the process of chocolate-making and the percentage of allocation the cost based on which get involved in the process.

Overall, the process of making chocolate will pass several steps and will result two kinds of chocolate, for industrial chocolate and food industry. And then, there are five types that would be receive the retail cost.

First of all, the process of making chocolate begins with grind the cocoa beans. The first step, cocoa grinding process will result waste products and cocoa liquor which will use in the next process. In the next step, cocoa liquor will be divided into two processes. For industrial chocolate, cocoa liquor will be process with combine cocoa butter, sugar, and other ingredients. This process change cocoa liquor become chocolate bar. Other steps, cocoa liquor will pass the pressing process to result cocoa powder for food industry.

However, the pie chart shows that the lowest price of chocolate bar is received by farmer who planting and harvesting cocoa beans, receives only 4 per cent of the retail cost. The chocolate company, on the other hand accepts 10 per cent. The government receives 15 per cent from withdrawal of taxes. The supermarket, on the other hand receives 34 per cent of the retail prices. Whereas, the cost of ingredients and overheads result the largest proportion, 37 per cent.

hello sister.. :)


received


i think it doubled verb without conjunction. if I'm not mistaken you can add "and" before "become". allow me to rewrite;

This process changed cocoa liquor and became chocolate bar


if I'm not mistaken you can change "receiving"