Hi! thank you very much for your help, I am taking my exam in 2 weeks and I need to understand the level of my writings, which Ielts wark would you give to it?.Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable life than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
-Nowadays, issues regarding the link between job and an happy life are very common:
on one side people who think that loving their job is essential, others who think that money is the key in order to have a satisfying life. I think that both views can be correct to certain extents, but to me doing a job that you enjoy leads to a more fulfilled life.
Firstly, money cannot buy happiness but can really help to achieve it: people can do an infinity of things such as travelling a lot, having expensive hobbies and going often to eat out. Above all they do not have to be worried about saving money, which is one of the most popular problems in life. On the other hand if you choose this way, you might be bored everyday going to work, splitting your life between doing something that you do not love and enjoying your life spending what you have just earnt.
Secondly, another reason is time: if you enjoy what you do, you will consider working as a integrated part of your life, a pleasing "continuum" between your personal life and your professional one. It is priceless getting up in the morning with a big smile: we are never completely dressed without it.
Thirdly, loving what you do makes you do it better (which often means earning more money too). If all the people in the world really loved their job how amazing our earth would it be?! Everything would work better, people would be less stressed: if everybody feeled good, we would be happier.
Obviously having both money and happiness would be perfect, however I strongly believe that money are just a fallacious way for happiness, and that between a good income and an enjoyable job everyone should go for the second one.-
Nowadays, issues regarding the link between job and an happy life are very common:
on one side people who think that loving their job is essential, others who think that money is the key in order to have a satisfying life. I think that both views can be correct to certain extents, but to me doing a job that you enjoy leads to a more fulfilled life.
very: this word is in low level, u should use other words: numerous, various for higher mark
job and happy life: parallelism mistake -> satisfactory job
common: on one side -> separate this sentence into 2 smaller ones
essential, while others
I think: not formal -> From my perspective
should not use "you" "your" in ieltsoverall, in order to obtain higher mark in ielts writing, I recommend u to upgrade your vocab and avoid common grammatical mistakes :)
eddies [Contributor]
25 / 1,208 
476 I think you need to a slight improvement on your introductory statement. For this question, let me give a try:
-Nowadays, issues regarding the link between job and an happy life are very common:
More attention should be paid to how people form a balanced line between job satisfaction and great life. While some people argue that going through an enjoyable life outweighs the large sum of money they have, some others believe that a better life is a result of a top salary. However, I would argue that people should consider other aspects of their life, such as relationships and health so as to achieve more fulfilled lives.Firstly, - Nowadays, issues regarding the link between job and an happy life are very common: ( do not use those signs in your essay.
Anyway, when it comes to the essay, for the second one you should rephrase the statement that you befriend.
That third paragraph is quite useless instead of writing that paragraph, it would be better to mix it with the first paragraph.
In my own opinion, it is the discussion question of writing task 2. Generally, a writer should discuss both point of views which are mentioned in the background of the question so that you need to improve your skill how to answer this question. There are 3 options; 1, Introduction-Body 1 (view 1)-Body 2 (view 2)-Opinion-Conclusion; 2, Introduction-Body 1(view 1)-Body 2 (view 2) and opinion-Conclusion; 3, Introduction-Body 1 (view 1)-Body 2 (view 2)-Opinion and Conclusion.
Thank you very much to all of you guys, I appreciate!
on one side people who think that loving their job is essential, others who think that money is the key in order to have a satisfying life. I think that both views can be correct to certain extents, but to me doing a job that you enjoy leads to a more fulfilled life
in my opinion, you should avoid the repetition words in your writing regarding getting higher mark in IELTS. The variation of words is essential thing in IELTS writing. Using the synonym of words is the alternative way to solve your problem.
fallacious
I enjoyed reading this...like the way you included the points for both
