Could you tell us what the purpose of your essay is, like IELTS or TOEFL?
Initial steps have always been the most difficult and important in achieving something worthwhilethe development of children
In uncertainty world hot debates about child`s development is getting much hotter. Some people hold an idea that teachers are more crucial in child`s development in comparison withthan their parents while others contradict this idea and asserted that parents are more important in child`s development than their teacherfavour the role of parents .
From my perspective, although good teachers play an essential role in child`s development, parents` role in child`s development exceeds teachers` role.
While the importance of teachers is undeniable, I believe that parents play a more vital role in bringing up children.Children spend more time with their parents than their teacher that means parents made more influence on children. Children and only parents are ready to be there for their children. in the following essay, I will develop my opinion by supporting specific examples and details.
Reasons could be saved for body paragraphs. You don't need to state them in the introduction.
That sounds like that tell me your parents and I will tell you who you are.
Don't use "you" in academic writing. Anyway, I don't think the first two sentences of this paragraph add much value.
we are most likely to disagree with our parents` actions relevant to teach how to walk, eat or even dress us.
What do you mean by this sentence?
Last but not the least;
A comma should be used instead of a semicolon after "least".