Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


IELTS: Strict punishments for driving offences - safety reasons?


zoha 8 / 19 3  
May 15, 2015   #1
Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People have different views about how to reduce the number of road traffic accidents to keep the road travel more safer. I believe both penalising the drivers and other effective measures would help to improve road safety.

On the one hand, It is true that stricter punishments to drivers could help greatly to decrease the traffic accidents. There are many types of penalties such as increasing the amount of fine, driving license suspension or revocation and even imprisonment. The purpose of these legal consequences is to create a sense of fear and responsibility among drivers so that they drive their vehicles more carefully. Driving under the influence of alcohol, for instance, lead to license suspension of the driver in many countries. This has decreased significantly the drunk driving related driving incidents. We would hope that higher fine fees and legal consequences would reduce the driving related accidents.

On the other hand, there are many other ways which can be implemented to improved road safety. Firstly, It is very important to educate our new drivers in the form of compulsory attendance at safe driving related courses and by making the driving book easier to understand for general public. Secondly, by installing more speed cameras at various random points of the roads would force the drivers to drive at the posted speed as over speeding is one of the major factors which contribute to road accidents. Finally, government should invest heavily in public transport, for example, adding more bus and train routes. and also keeping these vehicles in good maintained condition. This would attract commuters to use public transport instead of their cars which would result in reduce traffic congestion and less traffic accidents.

In Conclusion, while harsh punishments would deter drivers to drive unresponsibly, I also strongly advocate the implementation of other methods to improve road safety.
Rich Monte 2 / 94 2  
May 15, 2015   #2
1. You shouldn't use capital letters unless it's a start of a sentence (for example you use: 'In Conclusion' instead of 'In conclusion').

2. You should use 'on one hand' (without 'the').

3. Driving under influence... leads (not lead).

4. It's related to your way of thinking. One thing you must understand is that traffic tickets are built-into budgets of cities and states. That means, if you were the only driver in CityX, you would be penalized multiple times even for safe driving (some of the reasons could include absurds like: tires of different brands, unwashed car, holding a coffee cup while driving, having your dog on a back seat, not wearing proper sunglasses, having a window open while raining, stopping for ducks crossing a street etc.). The fact that traffic fines are built-into budgets suggests it is not about safety - it is about money. Young people like you should start wondering what it's all about and how to stop it. For example, why do they allow cars to be able to drive over 350 MPG when in fact the maximum speed limit in all states of the US is 85 MPH. IF they had safety in mind, they would require that cars are electronically limited to a maximum speed of, let's say, 100 MPH (to add 15 MPH when you want to take over another car on a highway). Please don't become a slave and thank that you are a slave; be a free man who is responsible for his/her life and can take of him/herself. The more bogus laws created in the name of 'safety,' the more personal freedoms are taken.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
May 15, 2015   #3
- On the oneother hand,

- This has significantly decreased significantly the drunk driving related driving incidents.

- We would hope that higher fine fees and legal consequences would reduce the driving related accidents.

- On the other handFurthermore , there are many other ways which can be implemented to improved road safety.

- FirstlyFirst , It is very important

- SecondlySecond , by installing more..

Zoha, overall, your essay was great. You elaborated your idea in details and very good examples that are base on facts.

A few points from me;

- Proof read your article before submitting it

- Enhance your vocabulary to avoid multiple use of words.

Keep writing.

Cheers!!!
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
May 18, 2015   #4
On the other hand, there are many other ways which can be implemented to improved road safety. Firstly, It is very important toeducate our new drivers in the form of compulsory attendance at safe driving related courses and by making the driving book easier to understand for general public.

I suggest just to add one main idea in a paragraph then support it. So why educating a new driver can related to the increasing number of safety in the society, this is what you need to support then the further idea can be explain in different paragraph. Moreover, remember to conquer the time, for task 2, it is just 40 minutes maximum, isn't it?


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: Strict punishments for driving offences - safety reasons?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳