Nowadays, a large number of young people have the way of living which is unhealthy.

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, a large number of young people have the way of living which is unhealthy. There is an opinion that this matter is responsibility of the teacher and the family to solve it. In my perspective, the opinion is precise, but it should be supplemented by responsibility of government so that the case can be solved completely.

Firstly, I would explain that the case about the way of living is unhealthy for the young people these days is responsibility of the teacher and the family. The young adults expand so much time in two surroundings: the family and the school so that these both roles can guide them to control their lifestyle. To illustrate, the parents can arrange diet consumed every day and control sleep time for the children. On one hand, the teacher also has enormous responsibility such as they always remind the young people to keep cleanliness and do not smoke. If both elements can effectively function, the children's lifestyle should not be worried.

In addition, I believe that the government should also take responsibility. The government can strengthen and accelerate steps applied by the school and the parents. For example, there is a program which was designed by the government to socialise the way and the importance to healthy lifestyle for the young people so that they can get plenty of information and reference about it. The healthy lifestyle will be rapidly realised if the government consistently do.

In conclusion, it is clear that the government also hold on enormous responsibility this issue. I believe that the health lifestyle for the young adults will be quickly realised while the three elements do solution steps together and coordination.

let's try to discuss regarding your essay

The young adults expand expend ( careful about word) so much time in two surroundings: the family and the school so that these boththat both these roles can guide them to control their lifestyle.

For example, there is a program which was designed by the government to socialise sosialize the way and the importance to of healthy lifestyle for the young people so that they can get plenty of information and reference about it. The healthy lifestyle will be rapidly realised realized if the government consistently do does.

I believe that the health lifestyle for the young adults will be quickly realised realized while the three elements do solution steps together and coordination.

I hope it can help you ...thanks..

1.


Concise writing is always better. This sentence contains unnecessary words, so please be careful with wording. This is my revision:
Some people believe that schools and parents have responsibility in addressing this issue.
In my point of view, such a revised sentence seems more effective to deliver the meaning of writing.

2. Your thesis statement successfully answered the prompt. Good luck!