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1992 survey: television was popular in the evenings while radio were listened in the morning


Kirsty 1 / 2  
Jan 30, 2016   #1
This is my first time posting here and I hope someone could give me some advice on my work for IELTS exam writing task 1. Your help is greatly appreciated!!!!!

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The graph gives information about radio and television audiences in the UK during a day in 1992.

As can be seen on the graph, television was obviously more popular than radio in the evening while radio was more popular in the morning. In general, more people watched TV than radio, since the percentage of audience that TV received were nearly twice the figure for radio.

To be more specific, the percentage of people listening to radio reached a peak at 8 am when almost 30 % of British turned on their radio, in the meantime, TV only had less than 10 % of audience. In contrast to radio, more people liked to watch TV in the evening, especially at 8 pm when nearly 45 % of British enjoyed various TV shows, whereas only close to 7 % of people listened to radio.

Besides 8 in the morning and in the evening when radio and TV received the most audience respectively, we can also observe another peak at 2 pm when around 15 % of audience spent their time on both media.

(181 words)



tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Jan 30, 2016   #2
As can be seen on the graph, television was obviously more popular than radio in the evening while radio was more popular in the morning. In general, more people watched TV than radio, since the percentage of audience that TV received were nearly twice the figure for radio.

complicated overview, make it simple will be better.
It is noticeable that television was the most popular media of information compared to radio.

don't use many fillers in the writing task 1.

To be more specific,

As can be seen on the graph,
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Jan 31, 2016   #3
Kristy, you should repeat your writing exercise for Task. 1. You have failed to accurately develop the summary report based upon the chart provided. It is evident that you tried to use short cuts in developing the essay and the use of word fillers indicate that you did not thoroughly understand the report that you were made to read. Such failures are sure to result in a negative grade on your part. So, since this just a practice test, I will give you the chance to revise the content.

Pay close attention to your opening and closing remarks. both need to contain a complete summary of the report. The opening paragraph, should have a complete 3-5 sentence overview while the conclusion should have the same number of sentences representing the restated report. You also need to develop at least 2 more body paragraphs in order to deliver a better summarized report to the examiner. Anything shorter than 4 paragraphs tends to be lacking in overall information and compromises the quality of the paper.
OP Kirsty 1 / 2  
Jan 31, 2016   #5
'Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.' this was given on the practice test and I assumed I only had to write the main features instead of everything on the graph? I am confused.. I was making comparisons by selecting and highlighting some key figures.. but ended up making the report seem incomplete and inaccurate? :/ should I cover everything on the graph by writing exactly how both lines develop? and I already have 4 paragraphs and 181 words, do I need more than this? I should use fillers less next time and focus on my content more. Thanks for pointing it out!
Ethanchen1998 8 / 18 6  
Jan 31, 2016   #6
Hey Kirsty, you have good sentence structure and essay format! However, I believe you can add more supporting point or evidence in your writing. If you want to add more content,

Here are some suggestions for your reference :)

- If you want to add more content, you can add how there is fewer user during 12pm to 5am and 12am to 4pm

-

The graph gives information about radio and television audiences in the UK during a day in 1992.

In the graph, you were given a period of time from Oct-Dec.

-

the percentage of people listening to radio reached a peak at 8 am when almost 30 % of British turned on their radio. In the meantime,

Drop a period instead of a comma as it is a complete sentence
OP Kirsty 1 / 2  
Feb 1, 2016   #7
Hey Ethan, thanks for the suggestions!


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