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Astronauts travelling space will bring proud impression to their countries


sharfina 35 / 21 5  
Feb 5, 2016   #1
Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort

Humans have dreamed about space flight. While some people believe that a person going outer space has had more to do with national pride since they can bring their country flags, I would argue that space exploration is closely related to international effort as it involves collaboration among countries to reach particular goals.

The general view has stated that people had explored space resulting in national admiration. By doing so, they can put their country flags in a particular planet in space and they can show that their country have ability to produce advanced technology. The BBC news reported in March 2010 that the first person walking on the Moon is Neil Elden Amstrong who is an American astronaut. He put American flag on the surface of the the Moon. This action has given rise to American well-known as the super power country since America had sophisticated technology facilitating him exploring space.

On the other hand, space exploration is associated with international effort as it needs cooperation to do researchs as well as developing either technology or concept related to space. The Times news reported in May 2011 that in the later half of the 20th century were developed rockets that were powerful enough to overcome the force of gravity . It involved scienticts from Russia to design rockets, while those from Germany were needed to measure gravitional force to reach orbital velocities that could open space to human exploration. Therefore, this project required a lot of money and eventually 41 countries participated funding the amount of money to support this project. This results in lots of countries travelling space easily.

In conclusion, Astronauts travelling space will bring proud impression to their countries. However, there is no doubt that successful space expolration involves international venture. It is imperative that space travel needs state-of-the-art technology which is devised by cooperation among countries.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Feb 5, 2016   #2
Sharfina, pay attention to grammar details. The event that Neil Armstrong participated in happened in the past. Why are you referring to it as if it took place in our current era? Always make sure to double check your dates so that you can use the correct tense description for it.

Good discussions for both sides overall. Just be careful about those tricky tense usage patterns. Grammar improvement all around is noticeable, although there are still some minor errors in your sentence and grammar development. You were able to clearly explain the POV coming from both sides. Train yourself to proof read and edit before submitting your essay. Acquire time management skills if you have to but always do that because little mistakes can deduct major points from your score.

However, I believe that you need to add a paragraph relating to your personal opinion as you closed your opening statement with that information. Your personal view on the matter should be included in a more developed form as well. Don't fall into the trap of using the conclusion to state your personal opinion. That is always counted as a separate paragraph in the essay and accounts for a part of your final score as well.


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