Hi guys, my teacher gave me the homework : "Write an essay to discuss the causes of global warming"
Here is what I've written and feel free to give any comment/suggestion/edit. Thanks in advance.
Note: my essay does not follow the structure of a typical IELTS. I actually used a model of "Cause and Effect essay" represented in the book Effective Academic Writing 3 published by Oxford
Throughout the history, the damage that human caused to the mother nature is irreversible. As a consequent, people's lives are being threatened by various climatic changes, including the most castatrophic one : Global warming. While there are many factors contributing to the situation, excessive amount of exhaust gas and deforestation stand alone as two leading causes.
First and foremost, the predominant factors resulting in the warming of the Earth is the emission of green house gas,such as CO2,CFC,etc... Needless to say, we are all familiar with these gases since we are all involved in producing them. Many of them come from different sources, but the most common are those deriving from the burning of fossil fuels. Power plants consume an excessive amount of natural resources in order to generate electricity;therefore releasing numerous quantity of harmful gases into the atmosphere. Another factor responsible for this emission comes from transportation. Despite many efforts to lessen the use of fossil fuel, gasoline remains as the most prevalent source of energy. No matter what sources the gases come from, they gradually build up within the atmosphere. When there is enough exhaust gases, a "barrier" will form and prevent the heat from escaping to the outer space.
The second cause to the issue is the deforestation. From the early ages, we all acknowledged that the photosynthesis is an essential process in which the CO2 is converted to oxygen. On a large scale, forests are by all means the most important ways to maintain the balance of CO2 in the atmosphere. Nevertheless, human has witnessed an alarming rate of deforestation due to thieves, fire and drought. When a fire occur, it not only takes away our natural purifier but also releasing a huge amount of dust and exhaust gas into the air. This combination helps accelerate the process of building up CO2 inside the atmosphere and trapping the heat. Consequently, the average temperature of the Earth gets higher.
To summarize, the two out-standing causes of global warming are the over-use of fossil fuel and the deforestation which is usually caused by human. It is unnecessary to discuss about the outcomes of the issue since we are now suffering from them everyday: climata changes, regular extreme weather events, and so on. Therefore, people need to join hand to help to save the mother nature because after all, we are saving our own future.
Hi Dat, you wrote very well. Just a minor correction:
....As a consequence , people's ...........
Also, regarding your second paragraph, I think what could be added more here is the reason for fire, drought and thieves. Giving examples can beautify your essay more, if you choose to not explain them, then also it seems good to me. But if I had to write this essay, then I would definitely explain the basic causes that lead to global warming including the reason of fire and drought. You can also add increase in population, increase in demand of food, water and shelter, the three basic necessities of life has resulted in deforestation. So it further resulted in global warming, even the fossil fuel consumption increased to fulfill the needs of a common man. good luck ::)
This is my suggestion for you:
I think your writing is good, but if you want to have the best grade in your writing, you can explain the whole perspective about this case " cause and solution". It is the best choice so the reader know as the clearly
And your conclusion, I think you must render the opinion from your suggestion " I know ......" do not use "we"
