This is an essay for a scholarship - write a 600-800 word essay: Write about the importance of having clean water. What are the benefits of clean water and what is life like without clean water. Name a water charity that you admire and explain what the charity is, the work they are doing and why you think this is an important water charity
Imagine a morning where before you have to go to school or to work, you reach for a cup and head to the water dispenser in your refrigerator to have a sip of water. As you look into your cup, instead of seeing clear water, you stare at a brown, murky liquid that is supposed to be safe for you to drink. You dump out the foul, unknown liquid into the sink and quickly open the faucet in order to drink clean water, only to have your cup filled with yet again polluted water. In your situation you could either contact your city hall and demand questions as to why the water is contaminated or head to the nearest convenience store and buy bottled water. Unfortunately, for 663 million people, those options are nearly impossible, and they have to live with those kinds of conditions for years, maybe even their entire lives. Every single day, there are hundreds of children who would rather dehydrate than drink the contaminated water they have access to. Farms and livestocks are deteriorating in various developing countries due to the lack of fresh water. Women, in order to provide for their families, travel extensive distances to collect clean water on a daily basis. In the United States, when people get sick from contaminated water, it triggers a national crisis. In some countries, it is just another ordinary day.
My grandmother, a renowned journalist from Panama, exposed me to the affairs and issues of the world constantly. My grandmother was extremely passionate in her beliefs, and the matter of access to clean water is something that enraged her. My grandmother claimed that access to clean water is a human right, and it is hard to disagree with her. Water is not expendable, it is a necessity for humans to live and remain healthy throughout their lives. She thought that the idea of obtaining clean water as a privilege is inhuman.
As a journalist, she used to write about this topic several times while at the same time intensely reprimanding countries and leaders who do not make it a priority to assist people who are in need of clean water. My grandmother always thought that it was incomprehensible that today there are more people with a phone than access to clean water. She also claimed that in the future, with populations growing, wars will no longer be focused on oil but rather on clean water. Growing up, I lived by my grandmothers words, and everything my grandmother talked to me about influenced my way of thinking. The reason why is because nearly everything she said is right, especially when it comes to the issue of clean water.
Every year, 840,000 people die because they do not have clean, reliable drinking water. Nearly 80% of all illnesses in developing countries can be traced back to the lack of clean water. Some 1.8 million people die every year of diarrheal diseases like cholera. Tens of millions of others are seriously sickened by a host of water-related ailments-many of which are easily preventable.100 years ago, this was the same situation that developed in cities such as Paris, London, and New York were facing. Child death rates were as high then as they are now in much of Sub-Saharan Africa. It was sweeping reforms in water and sanitation that enabled progress. The importance of clean water is so significant, that it is reported that clean water can reduce sickness by almost a third. By decreasing illness, children who miss school because of various diseases that arise from contaminated water can go back to obtain an education. Economic opportunities that were once lost for adults are regained as they have the ability to work without being prevented by the illnesses brought on by polluted water. By simply implementing better water reforms and programs, charities can ensure potable water for people in developing countries.
A current charity who is trying to make that a reality is 'Water Is Life', a charity I admire for its technological advances in retrieving clean drinking water for people. 'Water Is Life's' mission is to provide clean water, sanitation, and hygiene programs to developing countries. In order to achieve this, the charity created a temporary, life-saving water filtration straw that is given those who are in immediate need of clean water and a book filled with papers that have the ability to filter dangerous bacteria in contaminated water. These types of devices can revolutionize water purification and make it possible for developing countries finally be able to obtain the clean drinking water they desperately need. With these tools and fundraising opportunities for the public, 'Water Is Life' is transforming the way that contaminated water becomes a thing of the past.
Hi iSasha,
It is a pleasure to be working with you today. I like the fact that your grandmother inspired you to continue advocating for the access of clean water as a human right. I wish you success in your future and in this specific scholarship.
Here are my suggestions for your essay, and I hope they are of help to the betterment of your essay.
I like how you begin the essay by picturing what it's like to not have access to clean water. You did a great job there. However, your first paragraph is too lengthy, and there is no thesis statement. I would like you to leave the picture of the dirty water there, and introduce a thesis statement where you write about life without water, the benefits of clean water, and a charity that your support - all in one simple sentence. Why a thesis statement? Because the thesis statement tells the reader what the following paragraphs will be about. Also, you spent a lot of time talking about how your grandmother was an advocate for clean water, and you spent less time talking about the benefits of having clean water. I would like you to revise your essay.
In the first paragraph, cut down some of the giveaways, and instead focus on writing a thesis statement that is clear and to the point. You can also mention your grandmother here if you want to.
In the second paragraph you can write about life without water.
In the third paragraph you can write about the benefits of accessing clean water.
In the fourth paragraph you can write about the charity, what work they are doing, and why you think it's important.
In your fifth paragraph you will write up a conclusion that sums up your ideas and leaves an impression on the reader. It is imperative that you write a conclusion, because it will close it up and not leave the reader with questions.
I hope this information helps.
My best regards,
Juan Sebastian Rubio Lopez
Hi Sasha, I would like to share a few insights to your essay.
First of all, I believe that your essay is written well, it is very detailed, you were able to showcase a whole lot of different ideas rolled into one in a manner that is absolutely easy to comprehend.
Moreover, as much as it is very crucial that your essay is understood, it is equally important that the words you use in your essay are simple, big words can sometimes be tempting to use but that doesn't mean that they are the best words to use in the essay, especially if they don't reflect the idea that you are trying to convey to your readers. Choosing to go simple and easy on the words that is being used in the essay is always a very effective way in writing an essay.
Well, once again Sasha, it is a well written essay, for future writing reference, keep a good pacing as well as keep the good job on word usage. I hope this insights help.
