Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


IELTS Task 2- Computers should never have been invented


Novi 7 / 6 1  
May 23, 2016   #1
Computers should never have been invented
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement

Hi, in this essay I tend to think both sides. a strong comment specifically in grammar, coherence and the idea are needed.

The computer is a valuable discovery that has been changing several human's life aspects. Since it is discovered, obviously societies utilize computers to replace manual into the digital process. Some people believe that computers bring demerits in people's life and it should have never been discovered. However, I tend to think the computer has both side advantages and disadvantages in human's life.

People argued that there is decreasing the value of life, thanks to society's dependence more on the computer. Computers replace a human's task, people opt to use computers rather than do it by themselves. Taking modern school education systems as a clear example, which provide a computer-based learning has changed the essential value of a student's learning. Particularly, a simple case in solving mathematical questions, the student cannot count without using a computer, decreasing mathematical skill, especially even in simple case due to computer dependency. In addition, children are addicted to playing computer games rather than outdoor playing with their friend. They lose opportunity interact with their friend at the same age in real life and lack of physical exercise due to sedentary.

On the other hand, computer's features contribute to human's life efficiency, particularly in the supporting data process. In the past, human use paper or typewriter to write, but since the computer was invented writing process easier, the words can be duplicated and deleted, the file can be saved to be rewritten. In addition, not only in the writing process, the computer is also applied to make a presentation, calculating, drawing, media playing, and internet access. Specifically, in internet access, computer provides facilities to do teleconference or any online class, in which everybody can meet others virtually. For example, in a multinational company, teleconference which is supported by computer and internet can provide virtual meeting from each branch in several countries, the company does no need to spend more money to hold a meeting.

To sum up, the tendency of using computer brings negative impact specifically in user behavior, which sometimes user cannot use technology wisely. However, computer comes up with innovation in helping human activity especially data processing and borderless communication.
Ilmi_03 47 / 69 11  
May 23, 2016   #2
Hy, Novi. It is a pleasure to read your essay.

I have some suggestions for you
Some people believeargued that computers brings demerits in people's life and it should havehas never been discovered. However, I tend to thinkbelieve that the computer has both side advantages and disadvantages in human's life.

Cheers (:
Ssakshijain 28 / 146 87  
May 23, 2016   #3
Hi Novi, some of the editing from my side. You wrote well but is not able to form the sentences correctly with new words.Before using any new word, make sure you know how to use it in a sentence, otherwise go with a simple one.

Secondly, try to not to repeat words instead come up with different synonyms like instead of computers, I have used words like Microsoft applications. This makes the example more specific.

Good luck :)

....decreasE in the value ....
....essential meaning of........

Computers .... human's task, (Task is task, it is work, so computers do not replace the work but changed the process of doing it. Needs to be corrected here.)

......... friends . ...to interact with peers of the same age in real life affecting their social life. Lack.... exerciseand a sedentary lifestyle has made them more prone to health problems.

......... ...Earlier, writing was a cumbersome procedure with typewriter or paper especially for writers and editors. But computers has made it easier now with the options of reviewing where words can be duplicated ............rewritten. In addition, the Microsoft applications like PowerPoint, MS Word etc. has made it easier for companies and employees to make a ............. Through internet access, .........

To sum up, the use of computers has negatively influenced the behavior and lifestyle of individuals if not used wisely and in limited manner. However, computers are an innovation which has helped us in handling strenuous manual tasks easily and also has provided a border less communication among different parts of the world.
Meirama91 8 / 9 2  
May 26, 2016   #4
hello novi,
this is my suggestion for your introduction :)

The computer is a valuable discoveryinvention that has been changing several human's life aspectsseveral aspects of human life . Since it is discoveredfound , obviously societies obviously utilize computers to replace manual effort into the digital process. Some people believe that computers bring afford demerits in people's life,therefore, it should have never been discovered exist. However, I tend to think the computer has both sideof advantages and disadvantages in human's life. , and that both viewpoints are.to some degree, justified. (i give you other alternative)

keep your good work! keep learning. fighting!


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2- Computers should never have been invented
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳