Too many cars create problems and the State, also even society should work to solve this

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time.
What problems does this cause ?
This cause does the problem. Cause of many cars?

The number of purchasing cars is increasing in underdeveloped countries. This phenomenon drives drawbacks for environment and societies. I would argue that government and individuals act are the best way to tackle such problems.

In developing country, people believe that cars are the convenient transportation to transport for working, shopping, and even going to school. With this facility, they are protected by sun radiation and unpredictable weather. In fact, those advantages create some serious effects like, air pollution and traffic jam. In 1992, experts in WHO department found a serious case of this, hundreds of children in India are difficult to breathe normally and tend to getting trouble in respiratory system because of too much carbon dioxide on their lung. Such advanced transportation also causes a trend of traffic jam. In reality, managing of transportation facilities is not mature enough to have lots of car. The result of this is feeling uncomfortable on road because of traffic jam. People spend much time on road so they get late to do some activities.

Facing those situations, government should tackle the effective solution and individuals should involve on that. Firstly, making the legal rule to restrict cars use is the best way. This rule might ban individual to have more than 1 car or higher tax for having an automobile. If people do not obey, they should give punishment like fine. In addition, supporting from people is needed because they will implement those rules.

To sum up, many cars in developing country create disadvantages and The State even society should responsible for this. Cooperate both of sides will make an effective solution.

Intro:
let me rewrite the first sentence: Purchased car numbers have risen significantly in the poor countries.
You need more improvement on this sentence: the best way to tackle such problems. You'd better say your statement exactly upfront instead of putting such a phrase " the best way to tackle such problems". Let me help you: carpool and vehicle tax are one of viable solutions to mitigate this predicament

conclusion:
many cars in developing country create disadvantagesdeteriorate condition such as environmental pollution.

Hello Risty, It is my first time to give a feedback in Essay forum. Perhaps, it will help to make better essay.

2nd paragraph:
- I think it is better if "WHO" is not to be simplified since there is not any explaination about what WHO is

3rd paragraph :
- I think it is better if give brief examples of country that has attempted those solution.

Actually, I am still newbie in EF. I hope our writing skill increase over time.