Nowadays, the worldwide's population is rapidly rising. It leads to the advancement of monay countries which provied the people with a wealthy life. In fact, 1% population has much money while the other percentages are behaved unfairly.For a long time, it has appeared the distinction in the social class. Furthermore , the mankind have to face to face with negative effective about the life, the economy.In this essay, I will discuss about this situation .
Firstly, if every countries behave differently between the wealthy and the poor, the residents's life become difficult. For instance, the students of poor family don't have a chance to get access to higher education although they are very good at study.In the future, they only apply for a low job. Another example, the poor peasant can't receive a good medical condition because big hospital is of wealthy people.
The next problem is the decrease of the economy.For example, in the company , the small staff who do a huge work, but they only receive a low salary from year to year. This makes the strike for a higher rates of pay.Especially in American, many factories, companies, and so on have to stop the product process. A lot of customers receive the good on time. It affects great influence to the world's economy.
Before this issue spreads widely, there are some solutions which can be reduced the issue.The government should have a policy to balance the social class. The school create the educational opportunity by reduce or free the school free for poor students.
In conclusion, the gap between the poor and the rich brings many bad results for the life and the economy. Removing this problem is the fastest way for people to achieve a bright future.
Hello Nguyen, it is a glad experience to see the one who has same interest in IELTS same like me. I am a newbie in IELTS, but I hope we can learn togother to get high score in future. First, I am very interseting with your structure. Your strucuture is very good.
3rd paragraph:
-Especially in AmericanAmerica , many factories, companies, and so on have to stop the product process. A lot of customers receive the good on time. It affects great influence to the world's economy.
Thanks Nguyen, I hope we can study together about task 2 :)
It might be not big deal but still...
Furthermore , the =>Furthermore, the
In this essay, I will discuss about this situation .=>just say your Thesis statement.
Behave=have
although they are very good at study=they are talented
Hi Nguyen, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, we hope that you will be able to participate more in this very helpful and useful website. We aim to review each and every post you may have and deliver an even greater essay after careful analysis. Our comprehensive and most accurate feedback will definitely help you strengthen your essay.
Now, first of all, the topic you have at hand is very interesting, I believe this issue is very current and as much as we want to eliminate it right away, the current world situation is unfortunately not letting us to do so. However, I somehow believe that being optimistic is one way to help eliminate this issue. We always hope for the best and be ready for the worst. This simple mindset will bring us closer to a peaceful world to live in.
Further to your essay, I like the fact that you did a little research in order to support your opinion towards the topic and this is a very good technique in order to get that trust from your readers. However, I have a few minor corrections that will hopefully be useful to your revision;
1st paragraph
- Furthermore , the mankind have to face to face withpeople face negative effectiveaspects about the life, the economy.
- In this essay, I will discuss about this situationthe issue further .
4th paragraph
- solutions which can bethat may help reduced the issue.
- The school can create the educational
- opportunity by reducereducing or providing free the school free foreducation to poor students.
Conclusion
- many bad results for theto life and the economy. - RemovingEliminating this problem is the fastest way for people to achieve a brighter future.
There you have it Nguyen, I hope the remarks and corrections helped and by the way, mind your spaces in between a word and your punctuation marks, you don't need a gap between them.
