Whether or not,
This sounds redundant. It will not help you that much when it comes to IELTS essay. I suggest omitting it.
it is evident that the advantages of importing goods from others countries is apparently outweigh the disadvantages.
What are the advantages & disadvantages??? Say them clearly exactly upfront. Try not to present generic languages since they are vague.
it is clear that a great number of children taking part in variety of paid job controversy in society .
Thousand students include their essays with such a red phrase and therefore this phrase can be categorized as memorized language. Omit it or rewrite it.
numerous advantages of
Again, with this phrase you cannot even gain more score as they are commonly found in IELTS essays. How to solve this? you have to justify why you say so.
The spread of internet positive development
It is argued that the Internet with its positive development helps people easily gain information 24/7 with free access.