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Two ways of pick up water for watering system from different water sources


ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Sep 17, 2016   #1
The diagram gives information about two ways of pick up water for watering system from different water sources. It is noticeable that, the irrigation system in just a few steps using basic equipment's with two methods.

beginning at the first method, take water from the river using the rope to lift up the basket which is tied on four sides. The basket made of bamboo or leather. Then, two peoples stand opposite each while holding the ropes. When the water is collected, they pull the handles together in unison, swing them, then pour it into irrigation channel before it stream to fields. In addition, the elevation of riverside is one until two metres

On the second method is rope and bucket. This is more complicated than before way. There are need several equipment's such as ropes, pulley, rollers, and bucket. First, the bucket is tied with two ropes that are connected to a pulley and rollers. After that, the bucket is throw into 50 metres draw well. After the water fills the bucket, a buffalo pull it out of the well. Finally, the irrigation channels will be filled by water from the bucket



fadhilmd25 41 / 75 11  
Sep 17, 2016   #2
Hello Mr. Ryan, here are some advices for your writing, feel free to correct me,

The diagram gives information -->there are two diagrams, so it will be " the diagrams give information"

beginning at the first method --> At the beginning of the first method

two peoplesstand opposite each while holding the ropes--> Two people stand oppositely

I hope it will improve your writing skills,

Regards
angga93 42 / 74 20  
Sep 17, 2016   #3
PARAGRAPH 1:
The diagram gives information about two ways of pick up water ...
repetition: water ; "The diagram gives information about two ways of picking up water from different sources for irrigation "

It is noticeable that, the irrigation system in just a few steps ...
the content is similar with the prior sentence ; you can add information bout the basic similarities and differences of those 2 methods, such as the use of rope and animal

PARAGRAPH 2:
beginning at the first method, take water from the river using ...
>>this sentence has no verb

[add cohesive device here] The basket is made offrom bamboo or leather.
>>made of: completely change in appearance e.g. this cake is made of corn flour; made from: still has its characteristic, e.g. the chair is made from oak wood

Then, two peoples stand oppositeopposing each other while holding the ropes.

....swing them [?]...

In addition, the elevation of riverside is one until two metres
>>I suggest you to put it at the beginning of the paragraph since it would have a better flow

PARAGRAPH 3:
On the second method ... This is more complicated ... There are need several equipment's ...
>>I suggest you to merge these sentences: Compared to the first method, the second one is more complicated which consist of several refined tools, such as.......


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