Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6


Celebrities are wearing luxury clothes, most people however, tend to buy much cheaper textiles


ReskiRamadani88 43 / 57 5  
Nov 3, 2016   #1
Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by the clothes they wear

Clothes are important thing for everyone. It is become need of people, wherever they go and whenever clothes that they are wear as the point or symbol of them. Actually, using clothes as a sign of professionalism for their job or they are enjoy and like about their fashion. Some people argue that clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like, and others argue, people should not be judge by clothes they wear. This essay will discuss about that.

In the present, many fashionable clothes that sell, people usually buy expensive or cheap clothes because they are like. It is based on their level in live. Some people have view about expensive clothes, just for high level such as celebrity, government, businessman/business women or reach people. And cheap clothes for people who have standard level like employees. It can say that, people wear are clothes as the indication what they are like. For example usually, celebrities are wearing luxury clothes which design by famous designer. It is occur because their like and help them to show their performance to make their fans happy and enjoy when look at them. Clothes become initial and the mirror of them about life style.

On the other hand, some people argue that, we should not judge people by their clothes which wear. Because, some people are just wearing something to show their professionalism and they have different favorite fashion with others. Unfortunately, humans usually judge people which wear bad fashion or style. For example, a player music who wear punk style, for others it is not good as a public figure who have fans, because many people will follow their style and bring negative effect for other such as students or children. They are like music and sometimes having obsession to follow style their favorite artist like punk style. We cannot judge people by clothes they are wear, because it is sometime to support his appearance, we should look at they are behavior or habits with their fans, not their style or clothes they are wear.

In conclusion, people usually wear clothes what they are like, but we cannot always consider what they wear, because they just display their ability and skills to supporting their performance.
IvanMS027 43 / 56 9  
Nov 3, 2016   #2
Hi Miss Resky. Here are my suggestions for you.

Clothes are important thing(you should avoid to use the "thing". consider to change to the more specific one) for everyone. It is become needneeded(use the passive form) of people,(...) that they are wearworn as the point or ...

... professionalism for their job or they are enjoy and like ...
... people should not be judgejudged by clothes they wear. This essay will discuss about that.

... fashionable clothes that sell, people usually buy are expensive or cheap clothes because they are like (?). It is based on their level in livelife. Some people haveonly view about expensive clothes, just for high level (...)business women or reachrich people.

... people who have high standard level like employees. ItI can say that, people'sdresswear are clothes as the indicationindicates what they are like.

... clothes which designed by the famous designer.

Suggestions:
try to make a clear sentence with clear subject and clear verb. then after that, you can try to learn how to make complex sentence.

Here are the links that can be useful for you:

grammarbook.com/grammar/subjectVerbAgree.asp

and here is the easiest one:
webapps.towson.edu/ows/moduleSVAGR.htm

Goodluck and Keep Spirited.
faizunaa17 49 / 91  
Nov 3, 2016   #3
It is become need of people

1) is + become : DOUBLE VERB

Actually, using clothes as a sign of professionalism for their job ...
(nyatanya, edited - only English is allowed here )

2) You look like make incomplete sentence -____-". Try this :

Actually, people usually use clothes as a sign of professionalism for their job or just for enjoy it.

... of what they are like, andBUT others argue, people should not be judge by clothes THAT they wear

3) Show contradiction ! You cannot use "AND" but use "BUT"

4) Add linking words !

This essay will discuss about that.

5) IT'S NOT NECESSARY. Actually you don't mention about your personal view in the overview. You should mention if you agree / disagree / tend to be agree / tend to be disagree. DON'T FORGET TO MENTION IT IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH.

In the present, many fashionable clothes that sell,There are many fashionable clothes that sell in many shops..
... or cheap clothes because they are like. they like it.

6) many fashionable clothes that sell, (and what the rest of this sentence? you don't explain it well)

7) They + are + like ---> Pronoun + be + like is verb, ----> They like it =====> Subject + Verb + Object

I don't finished it yet, so please EVERYBODY, continue my correction :D
ibe13 36 / 50 9  
Nov 3, 2016   #4
Aloha Reski here are my thoughts;

(1) Clothes are important thing for everyone. (I think you'd better use casual hook to attract readers read more. Here is my sample hook;clothing is one of the trends in these days )

(2) It is become need of people, wherever they go and whenever ... (you can make it simple and easy to understand. Here is my sample;Therefore, some people wear clothes for signing their job, hobby, or status )

(3) Actually, using clothes as a sign of professionalism for their job or ...(I think you do not need this sentence)
(4) ... are the most important indicationto indicateof what they are like, andwhile others argue, people should not be judgejudged by clothes they wear.

(5) This essay will discuss about thatthese views .
(6) I think your body paragraph is out of topic, because I did not find the correlation of task response

I am waiting for your feedback, keep writing
WasishaSisha 16 / 20  
Nov 3, 2016   #5
Hi ReskiRamadhani88,

Here's my note for your first paragraph:

- Clothes are the important thing for everyone. --->don't forget to use article after mentioning the subject.
- Clothes are important thing for everyone. ---> avoid unclear word, you can utilize "goods or stuff"
- It is become need of people ---> "need" is verb and you must write noun on it "needs".

it's confusing.
- wherever they go and whenever clothes that they are ...
- Actually, using clothes as a sign of professionalism for their ...
- Some people argue that clothes people wear are the most important indication ... ---> be careful with your compound sentence.

Break a leg!
septiadara29 48 / 67 9  
Nov 3, 2016   #6
Hello eki! I will give you some opinions about your essay.

(1) Clothes are important thingitem for everyone.
(2) It is become needsoffor most people,
(3) ... clothes that they are wear as the point ora symbol offor them.
(4) Actually, using clothes as a sign of professionalism ...
People usually using certain dress to impress the other, such as to show their professionalism or just to keep up to date about fashion
(5) ... that clothes that people wear are the ... --> Try to change the structure sentence or paraphrase the question

(6) In the present, many fashionable clothes that sell, people ...
Nowadays, there are many fashionable clothes that are made by famous designer and some people always spend their money on it, whether the price is cheap or expensive.

(7) It is based on their level in live. Some people [....]l and the mirror of them about life style.
I know it is hard to do, but you have to emphasize your sentence about why people want to impress others by their cloth worn. For example, because some people want to get an opulent lifestyle than the other who cannot afford the expensive clothing


Home / Writing Feedback / Celebrities are wearing luxury clothes, most people however, tend to buy much cheaper textiles
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳