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The Natural Exotic Flying Park on The City


yurikeyuri 43 / 61 2  
Nov 11, 2016   #1
Transportation is important aspect to mobilization the people from one place to another place in the city. Train is one of kind land transportation which many use with people in the world. The train has line in the sky with 30 feet of height, is called high line. But in this modern era, the train has under line in underground of the city. It is because about one person in a mounth that is killed and run over, so the train in high line was elevated.

The consequence of this case is many high line of train leave unattended in the city. Because aesthetic function, the high line must be collapse but it is not solving problem and need cost too much for it.

Finally, the other solution is changing the high line of train in many city into park city to towards beautification of the city. The design of this park was inspired by the wildscape. The purpose of this project is saving high line from demolition working from government and the citizen can enjoying the city building. To make this project become real, it need one hundred dollars to built in over 20 years tim period. It can take from increasing of taxes in the city.
mem77 62 / 98 6  
Nov 11, 2016   #2
Dear Yurike, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!

Train is one of the kind land transportation which many use with peoplemany people use in theall of the world.

The train has a line in the sky with 30 feet of height, iswhich called high line.

But in this modern era, the train has undera line in under the ground of the city.

Regards
ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Nov 11, 2016   #3
hello yuri
I have some advice for you
hope it helps

1. try to arrange your vocabulary such as replace 'because' to another word for example due to, since, as, because of, the reason is
2. modal + V1


Transportation is the important aspect to mobilizationmobilize the people from one place to another place in the city .

Train is one of kind land ...
Train is one of the great land transports which is utilized by citizen whole the world.

The train has the line in (...) of height, is it called high line.

But in this modern era, the train ...
but in this sophisticated era, the train has been built above the ground of the city.

... one person in a mounthmonth that is killed ...

..., the high line must be a collapse but it is not solving the problem and need ...

Finally, the other solution is changing ...
Eventually, the another solution is changing the high line of train in several city into park city towards the beautification of the city.

... and the citizen can enjoying the city building.

..., it needs one hundred dollars to builtbuild up in over 20 years tim period. It can take from increasing of taxes in the city.

thanks
keep writing
Abrahamlincoln 54 / 56  
Nov 15, 2016   #4
... transportation which is used by may of people in the worldmany use with people in the world .

The train has the line in the sky with ... (we have special term to describe kind of vehicle, it is called as MRT or LRT, maybe you can use that term of your next writing)

..., the train has been builtunder line in underground of the city.

It is because about one person in a mounth that is killed and run over, so the train in high line was elevated.
it is because land shortage caused by increasing housing and buildings everywhere.


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