Nowadays more and more young people hold the important positions in the government. Some people think that it is a good thing，while others argue that it is not suitable. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.?
Young, fresh government
In some countries, the youth is becoming to occupy the key positions in the government. While there are some arguments that they are not suitable enough, I support that they should hold these positions is more beneficial.
On the one hand, some people think that it is not reasonable for the young to take the main posts. Firstly, many older people agree that they lack the necessary qualifications to have such important positions. In some Eastern countries, most of the older man, especially the middle-aged, run their systems of the government and solve their economy or foreign affairs of state. Secondly, the youth is also short of real experiences and this leads to their making mistakes that affect many people's lives. In some particular ways, their characters such as the hot- tempered could make them hard to success in their management.
On the other hand, I agree with those who argue that the youth plays a pivotal role in our government. One reason is that they have full of creative and look at problems with modern views. These result in the new trends of their control as well as policy ideas. In some developing countries, they have tendencies to substitute technology equipment for old time-consuming working. Furthermore, the younger has more time and chances to have a valuable contribution than the older does. For examples, with the same abilities or qualifications, a young candidate could be more likely to be elected than an older counterpart because of his longer time for devotion to the public service.
In conclusion, although there are some strong arguments for both views it seems to me that it is better for more young people to be selected for the important positions in our government.@truonglanngoc
is more beneficial -> X
more of the older men -> men
they have full of creative -> they are creative
the rich means rich people, so you need to use a plural verb
In general, you your statements are not backed up by evidence or reasoning; for example, you state that young people have more time to contribute to the government than older people do, but you did not really explain how that is so.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Ngoc, you have discussed the two points of view in the essay and yet you have failed to support either side with your personal opinion on the matter. As you can read from the prompt, you must offer your own opinion of the discussion along with the discussion of the two sides. Therefore, this essay is supposed to be a 5 paragraph essay and not 4 paragraphs.
The body of the essay needs to have 3 paragraphs representing the pro, con, and personal opinion discussions. Each side having one paragraph each with which to develop your discussion and line of reasoning. Since your essay is incomplete, this will not receive a very good task accuracy score.
The fact that you paraphrasing of the prompt discussion is also a bit hard to understand means that there is a lack of comprehension skills on your part and you do not have ample or simple abilities to properly explain your understanding of what you have read in English. Basically, this essay will not get a very good overall score due to the existing problems within it.
