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Many people believe that the internet is very useful for communication, however I disagree...


ichaa 4 / 3  
Jan 5, 2017   #1
it is generally believed that the internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that if it may not be the best place to find informaton

common beliefs on the internet usefulness



Everyone has different views to mean the function of internet. Many people believe that internet is very useful for all of people to communication but others claim that internet is not the best way to look for information. This essay would explain about both these views and give my best opinion.

It is common for many people that internet is the best place for communication. There are several internet users using it owing to many function. Firstly, internet is media to keep a good relationship between people especially their parents. It is enjoyed for them which are so far away from their relatives. Then internet is a place which give condition about ourselves more information. However, others suggest that it is not be the best place to gain detail information because nowadays internet gives negative things for people in particular the children. when children look for information about their subjects from school but internet shows the secret video. As a result, children which have been looked at the secret video tend to watch again.

I truly believe that internet is not become the best way to search more information because we can gain it from other place as older people who obtain information with directly face the condition. They tend to go surrounding in their community. From it, they get important thing who they need without using the internet.

It is generally when people have different opinions about internet but I absolutely against argue regarding internet is an excellent means of communication with many people.
Fiza26 3 / 4  
Jan 5, 2017   #2
Hello icha..
i will give you some suggestions regarding your writing

... for all of people to communication(to+V1, to communicate) but others claim

... using it owing to many function(many+nouns+s, many functions)

relationship between people especially (with) their parents

... things for people inparticular(particularly in) the children
krempetkov 13 / 29 6  
Jan 5, 2017   #3
First, think that I noticed is how different your 2 and 3 paragraphs are. Your second paragraph is probably twice as big compared to your 3-rd - which is a major mistake.

Other than that, you have written a lot of very simple sentences. Try to combine your ideas into 1 complex sentence. Moreover, stick to using only 3 to 4 sentences for each paragraph.

Everyone has different views to mean the function of Internet. -- I think that this sentence is not relevant to the topic and you should remove it - You should start writing straight forward to the given topic.

Also, on several places, you forgot to add the definite article - the internet!!!

There are several grammar mistakes, that you have made and I am just going to review some of them and leave the rest to you.

many function - many functions

Then internet is a place which give - the internet is a place which gives

other place - another place

ith directly face the condition. - facing

truly believe that internet is not become - THE INTERNET hasn't become
jessekene - / 1  
Jan 5, 2017   #4
Hi Ichaa,
Your essay is okay, but I don't think it addresses the prompt strongly. In the second paragraph,where you say 'Firstly, internet is media to keep a good relationship between people especially their parents.' you state a benefit of the internet but you unconsciously contradict your notion. Remember, your essay should explicitly show why you think the internet is negative.

Furthermore, your essay contains various grammatical errors. One such error is the use of the word 'internet' instead of 'the internet.' Remember that there is only one internet which is why you should say 'the internet' You can eliminate most grammatical errors by typing into a word processor before you upload.

You can modify the second sentence of the entire essay to read 'Many people believe that the internet is very useful for communication but I disagree' Remember that you are meant to have a stand, not support both views.
Nuverte0452 5 / 24 2  
Jan 5, 2017   #5
@ichaa
I think you should give your opinion clearly that whether you think the internet is an excellent means of communication or not in the end of the first paragraph not to confuse you readers.


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