Nowadays overpopulation and crowding of large cities are considered a big problem in the world.

Housing shortages in big cities cause great social consequences. Some think only governments action can solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

concern over housing crisis

Nowadays overpopulation and crowding of large cities are considered a big problem in the world. In fact, to get a space in the city, needs deep pockets and labourous search to find an ideal place to live in.There are so many reasons closely linked to this issue, Some think that government is a major player in tackling housing crisis. Before explaining my suggestion , l propose a wider range of opinion on the subject matter.

Clearly, increasing density of population correlates to the job opportunities and having livelihood in the big cities. It seems to be one of the biggest factors of having inadequate places to live in. Finding a carefully thought of a solution needed to deal with as so many students coming to study from different countries. They need accomodation to stay in during their period of study.

As far as i am concerned, dealing with this issue needs a great help from government. Providing a wide range of council houses for the dwellers, in the cities are very beneficial to solve the housing shortcome. As well as reacommodating student halls, factories, and large companies to the outskirts of the cities and towns, which generally, influences the expansion of housing for a wider variety of people.

In addition, increasing the price of rent by the house owners should be given a mention. Price cap should at least to be considered to control rent in those affected areas. Also make sure that landlords comply with it.

In conclusion, the concern over housing crises is a ligitimate one. It does need the government support, by allocating a great budget and imposing some rules that can at least steady the housing crisis.

Rozhnaz, you would have gotten a score no higher than a 3 in this essay. The reason for that is that you totally went against the prompt requirements and in the process, ended up changing the topic for discussion that you were expected to present. You were merely asked to either agree or disagree with the given statement.

In such an essay, all you have to do is pick a side and present some supporting evidence to help justify your opinion. Nowhere in the prompt are you being asked to present an expanded opinion of the essay prompt. Therefore, you clearly misunderstood the prompt instructions and as such, cannot be given a passing score for any of the criteria involved in the scoring process. You cannot possibly get a passing score in the other aspects when you failed to properly address the task in the first place.

To top it off, rather than simply restating the prompt requirements in the summary opening statement, you decided to present an opinion in that portion. As you know, the opening statement is only meant to test your English comprehension skills. You are expected to explain what you understand of the prompt and then explain how you will discuss the topic based on the instructions of the prompt. the opinions or additional information should only be seen in the body of the paragraph.

Due to all of the mistakes that you made in the development of this essay, I really do not see how you can score any higher with this work that you produced.

In your introduction, your opinion is unclear. In such kind of questions : To what extent do you agree or disagree, you should express your opinion very clearly and your essay should be based on this. Besides, you try to show off your vocabulary. But while doing this, you forgot other criterias. Maybe you can get higher from lexical resource, but task accuracy you can get low score with such kind of essay.

@rozhnaz
it would be much better If you use adequate vocabularies this essay. I'm a wiring learner too. let's keep it up!

I correct how much I can. There were spelling mistakes.Also some places you can use synonyms.

Additionally .You haven't disagreed anywhere on the paragraph. You have to put another side as well.I believe you have to present both views first and in conclusion your views on it.

correction of spelling mistake and verbs and few synonyms. I have scored 6 in writing and also finding ways to increase to 7 and I found this site useful.

... In fact, to get a space in the city.
reasons closely linked to this issue...

Before explaining my suggestion, l propose a wider range of opinion on the subject matter.

... and having the livelihood in the big cities.
... thought of a solution needed to deal with as so many ...

... needs a greater degree of help from the government.
... for the dwellers, it is very beneficial to solve the housing shortcoming. As well as transfer student halls, factories, ...

In addition, increasing the rent by the house owners should be regulated.