A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community
Life on a Dole Better than Climate Pollution
It is proved that development of a certain society directly is related to level of domestic or foreign investment. Investment could be in form of opening a new branch or expanding an old factory. Alongside its likely positive outcomes, such investment would cause damages to some extent. In the following paragraphs, I will try to explain what would be the advantages and disadvantages of building of large factory to my community by giving some reasons, ideas and examples.
As mentioned in the introduction, establishing new factory is a controversial subject and here I discuss its advantages and disadvantages, respectively. Firstly, nowadays unemployment rate is getting high and having a permanent job will bring peace of mind and decrease stress. Since a newly built factory hires staff, it means that it will lead to numerous job vacancies in the community. In addition to this, it will create new market where it is built and will cause to the establishment of small businesses around that factory. Meanwhile, performing its social responsibilities and funding some voluntary projects, factory can help the improvement of life quality of the residents. Finally, establishment of a new factory will lead to dense commuters and pave the ground for the presence of people from different walks of country and even abroad. Such diversity will cause to the appearance of cross-cultural environment in that community.
When it comes to disadvantages of such factory, the first negative outcome will be the pollution of the weather. In another word, all the fossil energies used in this factory will cause to the suspension of toxic and solid particles and carbon dioxides in the weather. All these suspended particles, on the one hand, bring about acid rains damaging agriculture severely. On the other hand, it will increase respiratory sicknesses such as asthma, lung disease etc. Secondly, all hazardous waste and the deadly byproducts of industrial process buried in landfield or dumped in fields not only salinizes the soil at the surface of ground but also pollutes underground waters by seeping down through tiny cracks in the earth. As a result, drinking polluted water itself creates diseases and salinized soil is no longer able to be cultivated. Meanwhile, any likely storm will blow salinized soil away to the atmosphere, in turn, double the suspended particle in the weather.
Eventually, as discussed in the above paragraphs, establishing a new factory is a two-sided coin and bring about some advantages and disadvantages. Since it causes some severe diseases, I personally oppose to the opening of such large factory near my community.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Farid, when you write your opening statement, please do not forget to include your personal opinion as required by the essay. That is because the first paragraph needs to properly outline the discussion for your reader. It serves as guideline for the upcoming discussion and prepares the reader for the information you are about to present. In this instance, the paraphrased requirements does not reflect that your personal opinion on the matter is required. So when you present your personal stance, it seems to be out of place in the essay and becomes an non-required set of information. If it is not in the paraphrased paragraph, the assumption is, it should not be in the essay. Now, since the examiner knows exactly what the original prompt requires, when you miss presenting it in your essay, you will be marked down for it. Such as is the case with this particular essay. I don't think you can score higher than a 3 because of the missing prompt elements and, the problem with your conclusion. The conclusion should not have included your personal opinion on the matter. All required elements for discussion should be presented, at all times, within its own paragraph. Never include new information in a closing statement because the essay will end on an open note instead. A properly written essay needs to end the discussion in the final paragraph by presenting the summarized facts of discussion and a reminder of your personal opinion alone. Nothing more, nothing less. Points will be deducted for the improper closing of an essay.
