Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5


TOEFL ESSAY: FAMILY vs FORMAL EDUCATION


lijing822 1 / 1  
Mar 28, 2017   #1

Teaching Parents



There is always a heated debate that whether "Parents are the best teachers". When faced with this topic,many people claims that parents would play a significant role in the education of children. While others, in contrast ,believe that what children gain from the society carry greater weight on the children, compared with the former.

From where i stand, i am inclined to the former that parents are the best teacher. What books are to scholars, instruments are to musicians, parents are always behind the children, and the influence they bring is the same, which is along with the whole lifetime of children. What parents do, even on a tiny thing, could leave deep impressions on the children's mind. For example, If the parents are not mentally healthy, it is very possible for the children to suffer from the mental illness in the future. Therefore, parents should often watch out their behaviors to be equal to a "teacher" and keep in mind that a best teacher is able to cultivate children through their daily life.

What's more, family education lends itself to direct and stimulate children's interest. If history is a guide, most of the famous people who have made great achievement benefit from excellent family education. The education is not only about the right principles to suit in the society, but also tapping their potentials. Children who have discovered fields that they are willing to devote to are tend to be more persistent and could go places easier.

To conclude, it's reasonable to say that Parents are the best teachers to children in their whole life.
Whatsminmin 2 / 6 1  
Mar 28, 2017   #2
@lijing822
Of course the best education is from the parents only your parents know you better and what you are capavle of.
Parents' education is the most important because you learn from them to find about yourself abd what you are planning to do in your life learning from parents is the key
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,765 4768  
Mar 28, 2017   #3
Li, your essay is... half baked, if we were to compare it to bread. It should have been a delectable representation of the prompt had you been able to appropriately represent your discussion using relevant examples and descriptions. Since you did not properly represent the prompt instruction as to how to discuss the topic, which had you either agreeing or disagreeing with the statement, you weakened what could have been a strong opening statement. Then, you made a comparison statement about books to scholars and instruments to teachers, but dropped the ball when it came to "parents are teachers to their children". The whole discussion is weak because it does not have any believable supporting information for your claims as to how parents are the best teachers for students. The essay is wanting for improvement in so many ways that this cannot possible score higher than a 2 in the actual test.
OP lijing822 1 / 1  
Mar 29, 2017   #4
@Holt@Whatsminmin

Thank you for your advice! I realize that i haven't given any relevant examples to prove the connection between parents and teacher, i was just talking about the advantage of family education, maybe.So i will rewrite this passageI know being logical is very important to English writing and i find it difficult for me but i will keep practicing. Thank you very much : )
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,765 4768  
Mar 29, 2017   #5
Lijing, what you did he was create your own prompt to respond to rather than responding to the prompt discussion requirement. Nowhere in the original prompt are you asked for the qualities off a good teacher. You are only getting asked to explain whether you are or disagree with the statement about parents being the best teachers. This prompt deviation on your part w will result in an automatic failure of your essay in the actual test.

The first thing you have to prove to the examiner is that you are capable of understanding English via the proper prompt restatement and succeeding discussion. Since you decided to create your own prompt and discuss that, you showed that you are able to understand English but cannot follow instructions. If you do not stick to the prompt requirements in your discussion, you cannot pass the test when it you do understand English and are capable of writing and speaking in the language.

Another violation of your essay is that you looked questions for the examiner as if you were speaking directly to the person and he can offer you an opinion. Do not lose questions in the essay unless you plan to personally respond to the said question yourself. This is not a physical discussion but rather an opinion paper and should be discussed in the same manner.


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL ESSAY: FAMILY vs FORMAL EDUCATION
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳