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More and more factories are being built to serve for the massive production of large enterprises.


Mimi123 4 / 6 1  
Sep 18, 2017   #1

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of building a large factory.



A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory and why?

Nowadays, more and more factories are being built to serve for the massive production of large enterprises. Together with certain advantages related to the economy, the most concerned disadvantage is that it would cause detrimental impact to the environment. In this essay, I will discuss both benefits and withdrawals of building a new factory.

The huge advantage of having a factory in the community is the creation of jobs for local people. The construction of the factory requires a big number of labors in the short time. After that, they need to hire both skilled and unskilled labor in order to run the factory, which create lots of job in the long time. This would probably promote the development of regional economy. Besides, when jobs are created, people will earn more money and their living standard will increase, which benefit the society.

However, environmental pollution is the biggest problem concerning the factory. Many factories in my countries violate the rule of protecting the surrounding environment and do not follow strictly the process of waste treatment. For example, they often pump the waste into water or emit the factory emission into the air. Those activities result in detrimental impacts to the environment, polluting the air and leading thousands of marine animals to fatal death.

If a factory were to be built in my community, I would strongly oppose to that plan. The fact that factory would pollute the surrounding area probably outweigh all the benefits related to it. Without protecting the environment, the economy cannot develop sustainably. Besides, people in my community have to breath the polluted air and eat fishes from contaminated river, which put the health of the whole community under threat.

To summarize, running a factory brings about certain advantages such as creating more jobs and developing regional economy, but it also raises the problem of protecting the environment. In my opinion, it is clear that the detrimental effects of related to the factory would outweigh its benefits.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Sep 18, 2017   #2
Kim, your essay will fail on the basis of your opening statement alone. You were not able to properly present the required discussion for the given topic. The essay was not asking you about building factories in general, which is what you discussed. It was asking you to discuss the effects of building a topic in your community and whether you would agree or disagree with building a factory there. The total essay was off track in the discussion because of the general terms you used for the discussion. You did manage to get it back on track towards the end but by then, it was too late. The essay had already failed in the all too important TA section of the essay and as such, will have a hard time gaining enough individual scoring considerations to actually pass the test. The correct format for the opening statement and how the discussion should have been presented can be found below:

A manufacturing company recently made its intentions known to build a factory within my community. While I will admit that there are advantages to building a factory in my place of residence, I have to oppose the building of such a structure. In this essay, I will present both the advantages and disadvantages of having a factory in the community where I live in order to support my opposing claim.

One of the advantages...

However, a big disadvantage is ....

That is why I oppose...

To recap and close this discussion...


Do you see how simple and on track the presentation should have been instead of the convoluted presentation that you have above? Always remember to highlight only the required elements of the essay. Do not fly off into a different discussion target because that tends to create a problematic essay that will not serve your purpose during the exam.


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